Jesse Jokes

It was the first day of school and I had gotten a serious scrape on my knee so I asked my friend Jesse to write down notes for me while I went to the nurse.Now it was the first day of school and there were no notes written on our notebooks and neither of us had written our names on them so when I came back the next and asked him to give me back my notebooks he couldn't tell witch was mine and witch was his so we both decided that we'd take either one.Near the end of the school year Jesse got in trouble for stealing my notebook. After he got in trouble (with 3 days detention) I asked him why he stole my notebook.he showed me small note on the back of what we had thought was his notebook that had been written on the back as a joke saying "Don't tell anyone but this is my notebook" with a picture of me taped next to it.The date on the picture, August 8.

by Scott Corliss
1. The Communist Manifesto as read by Ronald Reagan

2. The Torah as read by Louis Farrakhan

3. The Koran as read by Sammy Davis Junior

4. The Bible as read by Madeleine Murray O'Hare

5. Walden as read by James Watt

6. The Anarchist's Cookbook as read by Theodore Kaczinsky

7. How To win Friends and Influence People as read by Dennis Rodman

8. Europe on $10 a Day as read by Steve Forbes

9. The Godfather as read by John Gotti

10. Mr. Boston's Bar Guide as read by Ted Kennedy

11. Heather has 2 Mommies as read by Jesse Helms

12. The Diary of Anne Frank as read by Jesse Jackson

13. The Physician's Desk Reference as read by Dr. Jack Kevorkian

14. Catcher in the Rye as read by Mark Chapman

15. Uncle Tom's Cabin as read by George Wallace

17. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus as read by 2 Live more...

Jesse Jackson is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the Reverend Jackson if he would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy." So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.
"No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted spiritual leader. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer.
Rev. Jackson searches the room. more...

One day Jesse Ventura came ashore with his Seal Team unit and as he walked down the beach he kicked a bottle that was sticking out of the sand. The cork popped loose, and out came a genie who immediately asked Jesse to make three wishes.

His first was to be a famous star. The genie replied she was a bit rusty right now but would make him well known as an actor.

His second request was to be a great athlete. The genie answered that she would do her best with his physical attributes and make him a well known and successful professional wrestler.

His third request was that he becomes governor of Minnesota.

The genie explained that was probably more than she could accomplish as Minnesota was filled with powerful liberal democrats and their families - the Mondales, the Humphreys, the Andersons, etc. etc. etc. and told him to make another wish.

Jesse then asked that Cleveland be Super Bowl Champions.

"What year do you more...

Jesse Jackson is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the classes. They're in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the "Rev" Jackson if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy."
So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "That would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted spiritual leader. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Rev. Jackson searches the more...