Jane Jokes / Recent Jokes
Her version: 'Oh did I mention or did I not? Well doesn't
matter now, I already started talking. Jane came over, while I was having a cup of coffee. I didn't even sugar the coffee. By the way did you notice that I lost 10 pounds? No, you didn't notice, you never notice. Anyway she came over and wore an ARTIFICIAL wig. I mean isn't that awful? An ARTIFICIAL wig? I mean her husband could buy a real one with his money, but I didn't say anything, it's none of my business. I asked her how much weight she lost and she said she lost 20 pounds. Yea, right like I can see, I have eyes you know. Oh did I say why I asked her that? Because we follow the same diet, and you don't know that. Well anyway we sat down and had a cup of coffee. His version: Jane came over for a cup of coffee.
Mother: Did you enjoy the school outing, dear? Jane: Yes, and we're going again tomorrow. Mother: Really? Why's that? Jane: To try and find the kids we left behind.
Dick and Jane were arguing furiously over the breakfast table.' Oh you're so stupid!' shouted Dick.
' Dick!' said their father,' that's quite enough of that! Now say you're sorry.'
' OK,' said Dick.' Jane, I'm sorry you're stupid.'
Tarzan swings through the air
Tarzan loses his underwear
Tarzan says "Me no care,
Jane make me another pair."
Boy swings through the air
Boy loses his underwear
Boy says "Me no care,
Jane make me another pair."
Cheetah swings through the air
Cheetah loses his underwear
Cheetah says "Me no care,
Jane make me another pair."
Jane swings through the air
Jane loses her underwear
Jane says "Me no care,
Tarzan like me better bare!"
1. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
"Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"
2. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses
in the distance?
Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.
3. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?
"Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"
4. What is the difference between en elephant and a plum?
An elephant is grey.
5. What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
"Look! A herd of plums in the distance" (Jane is colorblind)
6. How do you get four elephants into a Mini?
Two in the front, two in the back.
7. What game do four elephants in a mini play?
Squash
8. How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.
How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open more...
Beverly Hillbillies
Miss Jane tries to convince Mr. Drysdale to network all the PCs in
the bank, but, typically, he won't spend the money. Frustrated,
Miss Jane pleads with Jed Clampett to persuade Mr. Drysdale to
"put in the LAN," but Jed thinks she said "put in the ham." Jed
then gets Granny to cook up a dozen hams and has Jethro and Ellie
Mae bring them to the bank. When they arrive, everybody is out to
lunch, so Jethro begins to distribute the hams, but is frustrated
when he can't get the coaxial cable to stay attached to the ham
bone. To further complicate matters, Ellie May has brought along
her pet goats, which begin to eat the ham and cable, causing the
the VAX to short out and force an emergency electronic fund
transfer of the Clampett millions to a competitive bank. As Mr.
Drysdale is seen chasing Miss Jane down the hall with a crazed look
in his eye, swinging a ham at her, Jed is heard to remark, more...
One day Rastus and Liza Jane were sitting at the bus stop when Rastus ups and asks, "Liza Jane can I's look up your dress before the bus gets here?"
Liza Jane was startled and said, "No Rastus you cain't!"
Well Rastus persisted and persisted till finally Liza Jane said, "Alright if'n it will shut you up you can."
So Rastus looks up her dress and sees that see has no panties on to which he exclaims, "Sho is a wonder!"
Well the bus shows up and they gets on.
Next day, Rastus and Liza Jane are sitting there again when Rastus ups and asks her, "Liza Jane, can I look up your dress again?" Well Liza Jane at first refused, but as the day before she then gave in. So Rastus looks up there and seeing no panties he exclaims, again, "Sho is a wonder!"
Well this goes on for a few days when on the last day that Liza Jane would permit Rastus to look up her dress she tells him, "Rastus you can look up my dress more...