Janice Jokes

For the fourth day in a row, the secretary arrived at work late. Taking note of this, her boss called her into his office. "Listen Janice, I realize we had an affair for awhile, but it's over. I fully expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee here. Who told you could come and go as you please around here?"
Smiling smugly, Janice replied, "My lawyer did!"

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me Janice, who created the universe? ”
When Janice didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “God Almighty! ” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good” and Janice fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked Janice, “Who is our Lord and Saviour. ” But, Janice didn’t even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. “Jesus Christ! ” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good, ” and Janice fell back asleep. Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child? ” and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Janice jumped up and shouted, “If you stick me with that thing one more time, I’ll break it in half and more...

Felix parked his brand new Mercedes outside his favorite sporting goods store and went in to do a little perusing with his regular saleswoman, Janice.
Janice, a pretty blonde, happily greeted Felix when he entered the store. However, Felix asked to look around alone before he needed her help. She obliged and let him to do his thing.
A few minutes later, a frantic Janice came running up to him yelling, "Felix! Felix! I just saw someone driving off in your brand new car!"
"Oh no! Did you try to stop him?" exclaimed Felix.
"No," Janice replied, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"