Japan Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Japanese tourist
A tourist from Japan is walking the streets of Manhattan. He is trying to find Bloomingdales Department Store, without success. He stops an elderly Jewish-Polish woman, and asks: "Excuse me. Can you tell me how to find Bloomingdales?"
"You found Pearl Harbour. Find Bloomingdales!"

Japan launched a satellite to explore the sun.
I'm no astronomer, but it was always my understanding that the sun was kind of hot, which would make it difficult to explore.
(Though Japan is smarter than I am, and of course, I was also mistaken in my understanding that we had nine planets, which I knew because "My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pickles," and now I find out she's only serving Dwarf Pickles.)

In any event, this solar mission is apparently necessarily because flares keep disrupting satellites.
So they sent a satellite to check it out.

So maybe there will be TWO big astro-news stories this year:
Pluto no longer a planet!
Sun no longer hot!
Also, this joke no longer funny!
(Yeah, go meta, that will fix it. What is this, meta-meta? No better. Meta-better? Hot. Like the sun used to be. Boom. The sound of our universe collapsing. Or at least the logic of this stream of consciousness. I should have tried a stream more...

An Australian businessman goes to Japan to negotiate a deal. On his first night his obiliging hosts take him to a high class brothel, where he is given a choice of women. He retires to a room, climbs aboard and give his prostitute a red-hot go, finishes up, and leaves. On his way out he asks the madam, "Excuse me, the girl was fantastic, aboslutely brilliant. But tell me one thing- on every downstroke, she'd scrunch up her face and yell' WARAMAKAZI! , WARAMAKAZI! , It was amazing Tell me what does it mean? " The madam seems embarrassed, but manages to tell the man that the word means " Very Good".

Happy the man goes to his hotel. The next day his hosts take him golfing. On the second tee, his Japanese host hits an amazing drive down the middle of the fairway which bounces twice on the green and trickles into the cup for a perfect ace. The Australian businessman turns and yells "WARAMAKAZI! , WARAMAKAZI! "

His hosts turns and says, more...

Seen here is the best defense japan has to offer.....

There were 3 men, a chiness japenesse and an american. They all
went flying in an airplane then they flew over china
and the chiness dopped an apple to represent his country then
they landed the plane in china and saw some1 crying and asked
him what was a matter he said he was walkin down the street and
a apple fell out of the sky and hit him in the head so
they got in the plane and flew over japan and the japanesse man
dropped a bannana peel in japan so they landed in japan and
saw a guy crying and they asked him why he was crying and the
boy said he was walkin down the street and slipped on a bannana
peel so they got back in the plane and flew over america and
the american dropped a bomb and then they landed the
plane and saw some1 crying and they asked him why was he crying?
and he said he walked by his house and he farted and his house
blew up

Earlier this year, the dazed crew of a Japanese Trawler was plucked out
of the Sea of Japan clinging to the wreckage of their sunken ship.
Their rescue, however, was followed by immediate imprisonment once
authorities questioned the sailors on their ship's loss. To a man they
claimed that a cow, falling out of a clear blue sky, had struck the
trawler amidships, shattering it's hull and sinking the vessel within
minutes.
They remained in prison for several weeks, until the Russian Air Force
reluctantly informed Japanese authorities that the crew of one of its
cargo planes had apparently stolen a cow wandering at the edge of a
Siberian airfield, forced the cow into the plane's hold and hastily taken
off for home.
Unprepared for live cargo, the Russian crew was ill-equipped to manage a
now rampaging cow within its hold. To save the aircraft and themselves,
they shoved the animal out of the cargo hold as they crossed the Sea more...

How did Japan start a war against African-Americans?
They bombed Pearl Baily.