Sped Jokes

Just after Lorenna Bobbitt brutally cut off her husband's penis, she jumped into her car and sped away. On her way down the highway, holding her husbands penis in her hand, she decided to throw it out the window. She opened her window and tossed the penis as far as she could and sped away again. Meanwhile two potheads who were driving down the same highway happened to cross right by Lorenna just as she tossed it out the window and the penis hit their windshield smack dab in the middle. Stunned but still quiet the two locals drove on. About three miles down the road one pothead turned to the other and said, "Man, Did you see the size of the dick on the Mosquito?"

A Man Was Driving Along A Rural Road, One Day, When He Saw A Three-Legged Chicken. He Was Amused Enough To Drive Along Side It For A While.

As He Was Driving, He Noticed The Chicken Was Running 30 Mph."Pretty Fast Chicken," He Thought, "I Wonder Just How Fast It Can Run." So, He Sped Up And The Chicken Did, Too!

They Were, Now, Moving Along The Road At 45 Mph! The Man In The Car Sped Up, Again. To His Surprise, The Chicken Was Still Running Ahead Of Him At 60 Mph!

Suddenly, The Chicken Turned Off The Road And Ran Down A Long Driveway, Leading To A Farmhouse. The Man Followed The Chicken To The House And Saw A Man In The Yard, And Dozens Of Three-Legged Chickens.

The Man In The Car Called Out To The Farmer, "How Did You Get All These Three-Legged Chickens?"

The Farmer Replied, "I Breed' Em. Ya' See, It's Me, My Wife, And My Son Living Here, And We All Like To Eat The Chicken Leg. Since A Chicken more...

According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it`s getting worse.

Following last week`s news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches.

Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is (you guessed it!) going for a song.

Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 back-office staff at Karate Bank got the chop.

Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.

Made in JapanThere was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing.

On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport.

During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!"

After a while, a more...

There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!"
After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"
And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"
The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet, as this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was $300.
The Japanese man exclaimed, "Wah... so expensive!"
The driver yelled back, "Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!"

There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!"After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was US$300. The Japanese exclaimed, "Wah... so expensive!"There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!"