Jennifer Jokes / Recent Jokes
Friends were surprised, indeed, when Frank and Jennifer broke their engagement, but Frank had a ready explanation:
"Would you marry someone who was habitually unfaithful, who lied at every turn, who was selfish and lazy and sarcastic?"
"Of course not," said a sympathetic friend.
"Well," retorted Frank, "neither would Jennifer."
Newlyweds, Tim and Nancy, spent their wedding night at a hotel. The following morning, Nancy`s closest friend, Jennifer, came over and asked them how their wedding night went. "I`m so exhausted," Nancy said. "All night long it was up and down, in and out, up and down, in and out." Misunderstanding her, an embarrased Jennifer was shocked that Nancy would speak so crassly. Tim clarified by adding, "Don`t ever get a room next to an elevator!"
Visitor: Youre very quiet, Jennifer. Jennifer: Well, my mum gave me a dollar not to say anything about your red nose.
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parent's nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best Dressed mother- of-the-bride ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer asked her to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not, I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm Wearing it," she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day." A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress.
When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it.
Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner more...
Jennifer: Are you coming to my party? Sandra: No, I aint. Jennifer: Now, you know what Miss told us. Not aint. Its I am not coming, he is not coming, she is not coming, they are not coming. Sandra: Blimey, aint nobody coming?
Announcement: It is the responsibility of the bride's family to announce the wedding in the local newspaper. The announcement should include: A photograph of the bride (A high school yearbook picture is acceptable); Name of the groom, education completed by both bride and groom (do not include elementary school, unless that was the terminal degree.); current employment and planned residence after the ceremony (If living with the bride's parents, it is not necessary to specify where in the house you will reside). Invitations: Since you are having a planned wedding and you are expecting a lot of free stuff, you must send out invitations! They do not have to be lengthy. Something like "You are invited to watch John Smith and Jennifer Johnson make it legal on March 14, 2000." will suffice nicely. If you don't want to be so formal, you can always run down to the local bar and yell "If you aint doing nothin' on the 14th of March, why don't you stop by my house for a cold one more...
Jennifer Aniston has started sleepwalking. Something blatantly obvious to anybody who saw'Along Came Polly.'