Jennifer Jokes

Friends were surprised, indeed, when Frank and Jennifer broke their engagement, but Frank had a ready explanation:
"Would you marry someone who was habitually unfaithful, who lied at every turn, who was selfish and lazy and sarcastic?"
"Of course not," said a sympathetic friend.
"Well," retorted Frank, "neither would Jennifer."

Jennifer Love Hewitt & Jennifer Aniston were in a parking lot of Hollywood studios trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they just couldn't! Jennifer Aniston stopped for a moment to catch her breath. Jennifer Love Hewitt said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

Announcement: It is the responsibility of the bride's family to announce the wedding in the local newspaper. The announcement should include: A photograph of the bride (A high school yearbook picture is acceptable); Name of the groom, education completed by both bride and groom (do not include elementary school, unless that was the terminal degree.); current employment and planned residence after the ceremony (If living with the bride's parents, it is not necessary to specify where in the house you will reside). Invitations: Since you are having a planned wedding and you are expecting a lot of free stuff, you must send out invitations! They do not have to be lengthy. Something like "You are invited to watch John Smith and Jennifer Johnson make it legal on March 14, 2000." will suffice nicely. If you don't want to be so formal, you can always run down to the local bar and yell "If you aint doing nothin' on the 14th of March, why don't you stop by my house for a cold one more...

Announcement:

It is the responsibility of the bride's family to announce the wedding in the local newspaper. The announcement should include: A photograph of the bride (A high school yearbook picture is acceptable); Name of the groom, education completed by both bride and groom (do not include elementary school, unless that was the terminal degree.); current employment and planned residence after the ceremony (If living with the bride's parents, it is not necessary to specify where in the house you will reside).

Invitations:

Since you are having a planned wedding and you are expecting a lot of free stuff, you must send out invitations! They do not have to be lengthy. Something like "You are invited to watch John Smith and Jennifer Johnson make it legal on March 14, 2000." will suffice nicely. If you don't want to be so formal, you can always run down to the local bar and yell "If you aint doing nothin' on the 14th of March, why don't you more...

Newlyweds, Tim and Nancy, spent their wedding night at a hotel. The following morning, Nancy`s closest friend, Jennifer, came over and asked them how their wedding night went. "I`m so exhausted," Nancy said. "All night long it was up and down, in and out, up and down, in and out." Misunderstanding her, an embarrased Jennifer was shocked that Nancy would speak so crassly. Tim clarified by adding, "Don`t ever get a room next to an elevator!"