Jimmy Jokes / Recent Jokes

First Teacher: What's wrong with young Jimmy today? I saw him running round the playground screaming and pulling at his hair!
Second Teacher: Don't worry. He's just lost his marbles!

In an interview yesterday former President Jimmy Carter was extremely critical of President Bush. His exact quote was `He is the worst president since me.`

Former President Jimmy Carter lashed out a President Bush today. This doesn`t usually happen. Usually former presidents tend to keep to themselves. But he attacked Bush. He said he was disappointed in just about everything Bush had done so far as president. Today Bush fired back, `Hey, if this Jimmy Carter guy is so smart, how come I never heard of him?`

one day in sunday school sally sat in fronte of jimmy and jimmy kept poking her with a pencil.when the teacher asked what do we say in church? jimmy poked sally and she blurted out HALLELUIAH.the teacher said correct.than the teacher asked what is jesuses real name jimmy poked sally in the back and she blurted out JESUS CRIST.the teacher replied yes than the teacher asked what did adam say to eve after thay had there 30th child jimmy poked sally and she yelled IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME IM GOONA BREACK IT IN HALF the teacher says yes .and that was sally and jimmy in sunday school!.

The was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was doing pretty well but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat watermelons. After some careful thought he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. So he made up the sign and posted it in the field. The next day the kids show up and they see this sign. It says, "Warning, one of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide." So the kids run off, make up their own sign and post it next to the sign that the farmer made. The farmer shows up the next week and when he looks over the field he notices that no watermelons are missing but he notices a new sign next to his. He drives up to the sign which reads, "Now there are two."
The Famers Daughter "The was a man named Jimmy who was on a job interview in another state that he didn't know very well. While he was driving he became very tired. Noticing there were more...

AT SCHOOL ONE DAY THE TEACHER HEARD
CAT NOISES COMING FROM THE CLASS,
SO SHE DISCOVERED LITTLE JIMMY
WITH A CAT UP HIS JUMPER,
SHE SAID WHY HAVE YOU GOT YOUR
CAT AT SCHOOL,
LITTLE JIMMY STARTED CRYING AN EXPLAINED
THAT HE WOKE THAT MORNING
TO HEAR THE POSTMAN SAY TO HIS MUMMY
"I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR PUSSY TODAY".

One day three men named Jimmy, Mike, and Sam found a genie in a bottle and the genie will grant everyone 1 wish if they yell what they want as you jump off a cliff. The first man, Jimmy, yells "
I want a billion dollars!"
. He jumps off the cliff and lands in a billion dollars. The next man, Mike jumps off the cliff and says, "
I want gold!"
and he lands in gold. The last man, Sam, runs to the edge of the cliff, trips over a rock and says, "
oh crap!"
and lands in a pile of poop.