Jimmy Jokes / Recent Jokes

James and Beverly Jenkins had been married for twelve years when they mutually agreed to end it and get divorced. After the divorce was granted, that same day, as they stood facing each other for what could be the last time, James asked Beverly if she would mind him asking one last question. "Not at all, go right ahead," she replied."Well, their is one thing that has always bother me. We have five kids with brown hair but youngest one, little Jimmy, has blonde hair. So, please tell me, whose kid is Jimmy?""I just can't tell you, James. The answer would hurt you too much.""I'll be fine. Now that we're divorced, finding out whoever Jimmy came from can't hurt me too much.""Well, if it's that important to you...Jimmy is your child."

Mother had just finished waxing the floors when she heard her young son opening the front door. She shouted, "Be careful on that floor, Jimmy; it`s just been waxed."
Jimmy, walking right in, replied, "Don`t worry, Mom, I`m wearing my cleats."

there once was a guy named Jimmy and he was dating a girl named Loraine. well a while later when Jimmy was losing interest in their relationship, he met a girl named Cleary. well when the time came jimmy was going to tell loraine about cleary, he took her on a walk along the beach. as they made it a ways down the beach, a huge wave swallowed loraine into the ocean never to be seen again. Jimmy was so relieved he didnt have to tell Loraine about cleary. He Skipped the rest of the way down the beach singing..."I can see Clearly now Loraine is gone..."

Teacher: Jimmy! Count from one all the way to ten!
Jimmy: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10.
Teacher: Good, now what comes after that?
Jimmy:Jack, queen and king!

Dear Bill: As a fellow Southern Baptist, I can sympathize with your predicament. Although when I was president I merely lusted in my heart, I have to admit that had I served another term, my lust might have broken free and moved down my body. God bless you in this time of trial. Jimmy Carter
Dear Bill: OK, so I'll never be president, but at least Donna Rice was a babe! Gary Hart
My Dear Chap: This is a bit of a sticky wicket, but if I were you, I should ask that charming Jay Leno fellow to see you through. Pop onto his show, admit that you made an ass of yourself and all will be forgiven. Hugh Grant
Bill: They entrapped me, they framed me, they caught me in a motel with drugs and a prostitute, but I bounced back and so can you! Bitch done set us up! Mayor Marion Berry
Dear Bill: Look at the bright side. At least you weren't caught wearing Monica's thong underwear. By the way, did you catch my sports show? I'm back on TV for the fall. Marv Albert
Dear Mr. President: more...

Jimmy: Mom, Remember How You Made Me Promise Never To To Bring Home A Bad Report Card.
Mom: Yes, Jimmy I Remember Very Well!
Jimmy: Well'that's The Reason I Left It At School!!

Dear Bill:
As a fellow Southern Baptist, I can sympathize with your predicament.
Although when I was president I merely lusted in my heart, I have to
admit that had I served another term, my lust might have broken free and moved down my body. God bless you in this time of trial.
Jimmy Carter
Dear Bill:
OK, so I'll never be president, but at least Donna Rice was a babe!
Gary Hart
My Dear Chap:
This is a bit of a sticky wicket, but if I were you, I should ask that
charming Jay Leno fellow to see you through. Pop onto his show, admit
that you made an ass of yourself and all will be forgiven.
Hugh Grant
Bill:
They entrapped me, they framed me, they caught me in a motel with drugs and a prostitute, but I bounced back and so can you! Bitch done set us up!
Mayor Marion Berry
Dear Bill:
Look at the bright side. At least you weren't caught wearing Monica's
thong underwear. By the way, did you catch my sports show? I'm back more...