Joe Jokes / Recent Jokes

Joe goes to consult a world famous specialist about his medical problem. After the visit Joe asks, "How much do I owe you?" "My fee is five hundred dollars," replies the physician. "Five hundred dollars? That`s impossible. No one charges that much!" "In your case," the doctor replies, "I suppose I could adjust my fee to three hundred." "Three hundred dollars? For one visit? Ridiculous." "Well, then, could you afford two hundred?" "Who has that kind of money? Do you think I`m Bill Gates? " "Look, replies the doctor," growing irritated, "Just give me fifty bucks and get out." "I can give you twenty," says Joe. "Take it or leave it." "I don`t understand you," says the doctor. "Why did you come to the most expensive doctor in New York if you have no money?" "Listen, Doctor", says Joe, "When it comes to my health, nothing is too more...

This man walks in a bar and says to the bartender, “Hey Joe, how about fixing me up with 8 shots of whiskey and 8 bottles of beer? ”
Joe says, “Well hell, what’s the matter? ”
The Man says, “Well, my son has just come home from college and I found out he’s gay. ”
Joe says, “Man that’s terrible, ” and gives the man his whiskey and beer.
Two weeks go by and the same man goes to the bar… He walks in and says, “Hey Joe, how about fixing me up with 8 shots of whiskey and 8 bottles of beer? ”
Joe says, “Well hell, what’s the matter this time? ”
The man says, “Well my other boy just come home from college and I found out that HE’S gay. ”
Joe says, “Man, that’s a damn shame, ” and fixes him up with the beer and whiskey.
Three weeks go by and the man comes bursting through the doors and says, “Joe, I want you to fix me up with every f*cking drink you got in the house! ”
Joe says, “Geez, doesn’t more...

Joe has always had an uncontrollable twitch in hisleft eyelid since young. Fred has a splitting headacheand asks Joe to go get some aspirins. Half an hourlater Joe comes back with a dozen packets of condoms." I asked you to get me aspirins, not condoms." "Yeah, I went to a dozen drug stores, but have you evertried asking for aspirin with a tic in your eye?"

Bill walks into a bar and finds his friend Joe sitting on a stool.

"Joe," Bill said, "I'm glad to see that your wife finally let you out of the house."

"Things have been different with my wife," Joe said. "In fact, just the other day, I decided to show her who was the boss."

"How did you do that?" asked Bill.

"I simply said to her,' Mabel, we are going to have it out right now, and I am going to show you who the boss is in this relationship'."

"What happened?"

"Well, I don't want to brag, but I managed to get her on her hands and knees."

"How did you do that?"

"I was hiding under the bed at the time."

A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them.

"Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, `come fly the friendly skies`?"

Joe answered the correct airline.

"Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don`t leave home without it?"

Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty.

"Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, `Just do it`?"

And John answered, "Mom."

Joe still enjoyed chasing girls when he got to be 70. When his wife was asked if she minded, she answered, "Why should I be upset? Dogs chase cars, but they can't drive."

A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious
financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. He begins to pray...
'God, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my
house as well, please let me win the lotto."
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Joe again prays...'God, please let me win the
lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well.'
Lotto night comes and Joe still has no luck!! Once again, he prays...'My God, why have you
forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving. I
don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just
let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???'
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Joe is confronted by more...