Joey Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dear Santa,
I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck.
Please, I really really want a fire truck this year!
Love, Joey
Dear Joey,
Let me make it up to you. Christmas Eve, while you sleep, I'm
gonna torch your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you'll
know what to do with.
- Santa

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for
my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can
do.
Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy,
What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having with the
babysitter? He's banging her like a screen door in a hurricane,
son! Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
- Santa

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots
or your reindeer outside the backdoor.
Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my more...

Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.
“Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge, and all the people walked across safely. The he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters and call in an air strike. They sent in bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved. ”
“Now, Joey, is that REALLY what your teacher taught you? ” his mother asked.
“Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe it. ”

Joey was a great guy with wonderful qualities except for unbelievably stinky feet. Sharon was a fabulous gal with everything going for her except her terrible breath. Because of these qualities neither dared to date anyone. When they met, however, they knew they were right for each other. As the relationship grew neither could reveal their embarrassing features to each other. When Joey wanted to kiss her, Sharon would decline. Sharon would want to take long walks on the beach but Joey would refuse. Later they decided to get married and in their hotel room the moment that comes to all newlyweds had arrived. Sharon decided to reveal her secret and said’ “Joey there is something I must tell you. I…” and Joey interrupted, “I know, you ate my socks”

Little Joey was sitting in the back of class rubbing his crotch, and the teacher asked, Joey what are you doing? Joey replied, Teacher, my mommy had me circumsized yesterday and it still hurts. So the teacher sent Joey to the principal's office to call his mother and ask what he should do. When Joey came back from the office, the teacher noticed that he had his penis hanging out. Shocked, the teacher asked, Joey, what are you doing!? Joey answered, Mommy told me to stick it out till lunch and then she would be here to pick me up.

Little Joey and Little Danny, both aged 5, are walking home fromschool. Danny says "I won't be going to school tomorrow." "Why not?" asks Joey. "I have to go to the hospital," says Danny woefully. "That's awful," says Joey. "Why do you have to go there? Are yousick?" Danny shakes his head and replies, "I have to have a circumcision." Joey stops dead in his tracks, an expression of complete horror acrosshis face, "That's Horrible!" he cries, "Why, I had that done when I wasborn, and I couldn't walk for MONTHS!!"

Guess the following movie quotes. All movies were released between the years 1980 and 1989. Comedies, dramas, action, etc. Some are quite simple, and others are more difficult.

There are 37 items, followed by the answers at the bottom, so you may wish to save reading this for a less hectic portion of your day.

1) Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

2) We're on a mission from God.

3) People on' ludes should not drive.

4) This house is clean.

5) Shall we play a game?

6) Terrific!! I've got a trig mid-term tomorrow, and I'm being chased by Guido the killer pimp.

7) Back off man, I'm a scientist.

8) That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else.

9) I know a little German. He's sitting over there.

10) Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a water buffalo.

11) Excuse me, Dick, I mean Rich, will milk be more...

okay so me joey and nick are drivin down the road and we get pulled over by a chick oficer and she says if u can show me forty inches of dick ill let u go so i pull mine out 20inches joey pulls his out 39inches and then nick pulls his out we hit forty exactly then she lets us go so were driven away and i say im glad mine is 20in joey says hes glad his is 39in and nick says man u guys are lucky i was hard