Jungle Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What do you do if you come across an elephant in the jungle? A: Wipe it off and say you're sorry.

Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that made them claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, the boundary between their turf was a well traveled trail through the jungle.
All day every day, both lions lay in the brush staring across the trail at their compatriot, daring him to cross into their territory.
The local natives knew of this animal feud, but all this was unbeknown to African Jack, a well-known and must publicized guide who did not speak Lionese and was unfamiliar with the territory.
While he was leading a safari through the jungle, walking all day and cutting vines with their machetes, all this constant hacking brush had them worn to a frazzle. After seeing two or three of his safari drop from exhaustion, African Jack decided to stop on the trail between these two lions and camp for the night.
After sitting up camp, eating, and more...

Here's one...
There was this priest who wanted to "spread the good word" in areas
where need was greatest. He thought that the best place to start was
in Africa. So off he went.
He went into a deep jungle, and found a tribe. In his haste, he
forgot that he would have to teach these people English first. So,
he selected what he thought was the smartest of the tribesmen and
began his teaching.
They went for long walks in the jungle, first the priest would point
to a rock and say, "Rock." And the native would say "bagwundame."
And the priest would repeat "Rock," and the native would say "roock."
Then priest would point and say "tree," native would say "tree,"
and so on-Until the native had a minor understanding of English.
It was on one of these "nature walks" that the pair stumbled upon a
clearing, and on the other edge of the clearing was a young more...

There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."

A man selling hats went to a jungle for a rest. A monkey came and stole a hat. The man couldn't catch the monkey. He realized the monkey followed the man's actions. He threw the hat to the ground. The monkey threw the hat to the ground. He picked up both hats and went away.
The man then had a grandson who followed the family business and sold hats. The grandson went to a jungle to rest while selling hats. A monkey came and stole a hat. The grandson thought of his grandfather's story, and threw the hat on the floor. The monkey ran and picked up the hat. It then slapped the grandson, saying, "You think you're the only one having a grandfather?"

There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle.
For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river.
The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle."Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks."When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied."Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe."Yep!" said the elephant.
"I've got Turtle-Recall."

your momma so hairy that the lions started singing welcome to the jungle the mighty jungle where the lion sleeps tonite