Jungle Jokes / Recent Jokes

Harry and Bert two intrepid explorers are walking through the jungle, when suddenly they are set upon by fierce man-eating cannibals. They are trussed up in a trice and carried off back to the cannibal's village,
Here they are stripped and placed in a big cauldron of water, the natives then start chopping up vegtables and throwing them into the water as well. Now Harry and Bert are a little preturbed to be next on the h'or deurves list so they call for the Chief of the cannibals.
Well, the Chief comes to see them and asks what they want. Harry and Bert ask the Chief if there is any way they can get out of being cooked and eaten by the cannibals. Well the Chief says there is the ancient test of the jungle fruits.
What do we have to do say the intrepid explorers. Well, says the Chief, you go off into the jungle and bring back a jungle fruit of some kind and we put you to a test, and if you can perform the test we will let you go free.
Seems fair, think our heros. So they more...

This joke involves an elephant who is walking through the jungle. And all of a sudden he falls into a pit and is stuck there. The elephant is stuck in this pit and realizes that he is going to die, so naturally he start to scream.
By chance a chicken hears the screaming of the elephant and decides to investigate. He sees the elephant stuck in the pit and shouts to the elephant: “Don’t worry, I am going to save you”.
The chicken then calls on the King of the Jungle. The King of the Jungle promptly arrives in his Red Porsche. He throws a rope from the Porsche into the pit, the elephant ties it around himself and the King of the Jungle pulls him out of the pit. The elephant is saved (loud applause).
So grateful is the elephant to the chicken that he promises him that he will one day do the same for him (if the chicken should ever be in mortal danger). As chance would have it, the next week the elephant is walking thru’ the jungle and hears the screaming of a more...

Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years with only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure.

Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for a while.

Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him. As she reclined on the wild grass Tarzan ran up to her and gave her a big kick in the crotch.

In pain she screamed' What the hell did you do that for?'

Tarzan replied,' Always check for squirrels.'

Why do elephants live in the jungle? Because its out of the high rent district.

Born in Jungle =& & Sher Khan. Born in Summer = Sharbat Khan. Born in War = Barood Khan. Born in Anger = Ghazab Khan. Born in Horror =& Haybat Khan. Born near Ocean = Samandar Khan. Born near Garden = Gul Khan. Born with Abnormal features = Ajab Khan. Born with out Brain = Shahid Afridi Khan. Nice na?

This is completely true!
Okay, so it was after dinner and my sister, dad and I were at the table just kinda goofing off then my sister asked me this riddle:
There is one man in a jungle, he reaches into his pocket and takes something out, it has a head and a tail but no body, yet he is not afraid. What was the thing he found in his pocket?
I couldn't figure it out so my dad gave me a hint:
you can flip it.
I still could not figure it out.
What do you flip? asked my dad.
Then I was all like:
A coin. A COIN! A COIN! THAT'S IT, A COIN!!!
What can I say? I'm a blonde, but it doesn't count too much because I have dirty blonde hair and blonde and dirty blonde isn't the same thing.

A gorilla was walking thru’ a jungle when he came across a deer eating grasses in a clearing. The gorilla roared, ‘Who’s the king of the jungle? ’, and the deer replied, ‘Oh, you are, Master. ’
The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. Again, he roared, ’Who’s the king of the jungle? ’, of course, the zebra replied, ‘You are, master. ’
The gorilla walked of pleased. Then he came across an elephant. ‘Who’s the king of the jungle? ’, he roared again, at the elephant. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him.
The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, ‘Ok, ok, there’s no need to get mad just because you don’t know the answer! ’