Junior Jokes / Recent Jokes

There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at Tim Alley's Grocery Store. The owner Tim doesn't know what Junior's problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles shy of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a dime. He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger. One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, Tim got him off to one side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?" Junior said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!"

A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."

Father: Junior, what happened to you? You're a mess!

Junior: I challenged Joey to a duel!

Father: I see - very gentlemanly of you. I hope you gave him his choice of weapons.

Junior: Yeah, but who knew he'd pick his sister!

This story takes place in a very specific year. Somewhere in the future.
A year after Bush leaves office.
Part 1. A Space mission
Place: In a rocket in space.
Notes: names such as Junior and Senior are just rankings on the shuttle.
Senior: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, JUNIOR?
Junior: Getting a donut.
Senior: Yeah, but look at which donut it is.
Junior: Chocolate with colorful sprinkles.
Senior: YEAH! ONLY SENIOR RANKINGS GET SPRINKLES!
Junior: Yeah! Wadaya gonna do?
Senior: DON'T MAKE ME HURT YOU!
Piolot: Guys, we have a problem.
Junior: What is it?
Senior: Shut up, Junior, let a sopisticated Senior do this. What is the problem?
Piolot: I see a comet coming for us.
Senior: Sacrifice Junior.
Medical: Leave him alone!
Junior: Yeah! I have a name!
Medical: I'm sorry, I never caught your name.
Junior: For the seventh time it's Wally!

The Stork family sits down to dinner. The momma stork asks the daddy stork,' So how was your day dear?'

' Well', he replied,' I flew North and South all day, making people happy. And how was your day?'

She answers,' Pretty much the same. I flew East and West making families happy.'

They both turn to junior Stork,' And how was your day?', they asked.

Junior Stork tells them,' I had a blast, I flew all over scaring the hell out of college students!'