Justice Jokes / Recent Jokes
REDMOND, Wash. - Oct. 23, 1997 -- In direct response to accusations made by the Department of
Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that it will be acquiring the federal government
of the United States of America for an undisclosed sum.
"It's actually a logical extension of our planned growth", said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates,
"It really is going to be a positive arrangement for everyone".
Microsoft representatives held a briefing in the oval office of the White House with
U. S. President Bill Clinton, and assured members of the press that changes will be "minimal".
The United States will be managed as a wholly owned division of Microsoft. An initial public
offering is planned for July of next year, and the federal government is expected to be
profitable by "Q4 1999 at latest", according to Microsoft president Steve Ballmer.
In a related announcement, Bill Clinton stated that he had more...
A judge was annoyed to find that his car wouldn't start. He called a taxi, and soon one arrived at his house.Climbing in, he told the driver to take him to the halls of justice. "Where are they," asked the driver."You mean to say that you don't know where the courthouse is?" asked the incredulous judge."The courthouse? Of course I know where that is." replied the driver. "But I thought you said you wanted to go to the 'halls of justice.'"
There is an American named Michael Fay
He loves to take our public signs away
Sometimes graffiti on our cars he spray
Until by the police he was caught one fine day
The Chief Justice to Michael he says
" A small fine you shall have to pay "
" Four months in Queenstown Remand you'll stay "
" With six strokes of rotan coming your way "
This decision Clinton try to sway
For vandalism is a game their local boys play
We should find other means to keep crime at bay
Because caning is not an American way
Tried all means Fay's father and mother may
And even the American press got into fray
Desperate, the plea for clemency went President Ong's way
Authorized to pardon, hopefully he may
Finally, in order that Clinton's face shall not go away
Two strokes less of caning to Michael's dismay
George Fay, his father still shout " Nay! nay! nay! "
Once Fay out of more...
A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a long-term client accused of robbery.
After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released.
Excited about his success, the attorney e-mailed the firm: "Justice prevailed.
A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released.
Excited about his success, the attorney e-mailed the firm: "Justice prevailed."
The senior partner replied in haste, "Appeal immediately."
A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city sub- scribed to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling. "Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury 20 more of them."
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?Room service? Send up a larger room.Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.