Katie Jokes / Recent Jokes
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie wentstraight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmotherand comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years oldhaving sex would surely be asking for trouble." Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advancedage, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells wouldstart to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "and if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"
Little Johnny and Katie are sitting in school.
Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question.
"Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?" Little Johnny sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!! " Exclaimed Katie.
"Correct." Says the teacher.
So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up "Who created Heaven and Earth?" Katie (Again sleeping) is poked by Little Johnny's pencil "Jesus Christ almighty!" she exclaims.
"Correct again." Says the teacher.
So the next day, for a 3rd time, The teacher asks Katie "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Katie (again sleeping) is poked by Little Johnny's pencil again, and screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I am going to crack it in half!"
Katie Couric is getting a new set built for her "CBS Evening News" debut as well as a new theme song created by Oscar Award winning composer, James Horner.
Couric initially tried using singer Kelis’ “Milkshake” after learning that "The Today Show" was using The Pussy Cat Dolls’ “Don’t Cha” to welcome Meredith Viera.
Mark and Sharon decide they don't want to discuss sex in front of their 4
and 6 year old children, so they decide to talk in code.
One day Mark is feeling a little bit turned on and says to Katie, "Tell
your mother I would really like to type a letter."
Katie runs off to find her mom. " Mommy, mommy", shouts Katie, "Daddy would
like to type a letter."
Sharon replies slightly sheepishly, "Katie, go and tell your daddy that he
can't type a letter today as there is a red ribbon in the typewriter."
Katie tears off to her father and says, " Daddy, daddy, mommy says you
can't type a letter today as there is a red ribbon in the typewriter."
A few days later Sharon remembers that Mark was a little bit keen on a bit
of nookie and she called Katie, "Katie, tell your daddy that he can type
that letter today."
Katie went off to look for more...