Kenneth Jokes / Recent Jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Kenneth!
Kenneth who?
Kenneth little kids play with you!

Sing the song below to the tune of "Summer Lovin'" from the musical "Grease".
Bill: "Summer intern, had me a blast"
Monica: "White house intern, happened so fast"
Bill: "Met a girl, crazy for me"
Monica: "Met the prez, down on my knees"
Bill: "Summer days, sucking away, oh, i, but those summer nights"
Investigation Committee: "Well, ah.. well, ah.... well, ah. uh Tell us more, tell us more"
Linda Trip: "try to remember your best"
Investigation Committee: "Tell us more, tell us more"
Kenneth Star: "Did he come on your dress?"
Bill: "Wanted to screw her but she had a cramp"
Monica: "The prez is sexy - he makes my panties damp"
Bill: "She gave me head, right in the White House"
Monica: "I said OK, just don't come in my mouth:
Investigation Committee: "Well, ah.. well, more...

Anglican Arch Bishop Kenneth Fernando lay dying in the Jayawardanapura hospital. For years he had faithfully served, blessed and advised the majority of Sri Lanka's "Buddhist" political leaders.
He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see Chandrika and Ranil before I die."
whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.
The nurse telephoned the two people.
Chandrika and Ranil were delighted to visit the priest, as usual.
As they rushed to the hospital, Chandrika commented to Ranil:
"I don't know why uncle Kenneth wants to see us at his deathbed, but it will certainly help our images." Ranil couldn't help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Chandrika's hand in his right hand and Ranil's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of rare serenity on the old man's more...

If Kenneth Starr can extend his probe, what is wrong with Clinton
doing the same?

Poor little Kenneth wanted a toy he could his own, and, dashing off a letter to God, hi implored the Almighty to see His way clear send him twenty dollars to buy one. He mail* the letter, which a well-meaning postal forwarded to City Hall. There it came to tl attention of the mayor, who pulled out a five dollar bill, wrote a nice note, and sent it off to Kenneth.
When the envelope arrived, Kenneth opened it and grew red with rage. Taking pen in hand, he wrote back to God, "Lord, thanks for the twenty dollars. Only why'd you send it through City Hall? The bastards kept seventy-five percent for taxes!"

Excerpt from Kenneth Starr's cross examination of President Clinton.
Starr: Now you told us earlier that you spent a lot of money on a face
lift for Ms. Lewinski. Would you like to clarify just how much money you
spent?
Clinton: No, no, no. What I said was, "I blew a wad on her
face."

New from MATTEL: Administrative Barbie: Works twelve hour days for little pay (70% of Admin Ken's salary), and is the lowest on the totem pole despite being the one that actually runs the group. Comes with mini laptop and directions for the coffee machine. Pull the string on her back and she'll schedule a meeting with your other dolls, replace the toner cartridge in the laser printer, coordinate a re-org and a move, and order airline tickets for Admin Ken.

Temp Barbie: This smartly dressed, intelligent, hard-working and enthusiastic Barbie is ready to go right out of the box, but usually goes untouched for at least a day while everyone tries to figure out why they bought her. Pull the string on her back and she'll stuff envelopes indefinitely, all the while wondering why she got a liberal arts degree. Comes with mini resume and mini filing cabinet filled with the past five years worth of US Tax Code revisions which need to be collated.

Sister Mary Barbie: This more...