Kick Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a little Black Kid who went into his mother's makeup. He found some white powder and put it on himself. When he was finished he looked just like a white kid. He then ran and told his sister "look I'm white I'm white." and the sister said you better not show your mama that or she'll kick your ass. So he goes up to his mama and says "look i'm white I'm white" and his Mama says you better not show your father that or he'll kick the shit out of you. So he goes and tells his father "look I'm white I'm white" and the Father kicks the living Shit out of him, he's bleeding and crying and about a Five Minutes later he calls a family meeting. "Now son what have you learned from this" says the father and the son says "I've only been white for five minutes and i already hate black people!!!"

50 ways to FREAK your roommate
1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave
"Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your
roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.
2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair
of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.
3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and
dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying,
"Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for your roommate
to come back. When he/she does, walk in and act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like,
THEY, were here again."
5. Every time you see your more...

The only time I'd kick you outta bed would be to fuck you on the floor!

A big-city lawyer, from Washington, D.C., went duck hunting in the South Carolina Low country. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell in to a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going in to retrieve it." The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the US and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in South Carolina. Down here we settle small disagreements like this with the Three-Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "A Three Kick Rule. What is the Three-Kick Rule?" The Farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three more...

This one big lawyer from the city decided to take time away from his busy day and went out to the farm and shot a duck. The farmer walks out Of his building upon hearing the shot and screams at the city guy - "HEY You Cant shoot that duck on my property. That duck belongs to me. Hand it over!" The city guy says,' Hell no I shot him so I get to keep him!"The farmer and the city boy decide to settle it country style (which is to kick each other in the nuts till the other one falls over") So the farmer goes first and slams the city boy a nice hard stiff kick. Upon receiving the kick, the city boy damn near colllapses from the pain. The city boy regains his balance And studders "Its my turn" The famer looks at him and says - "aw Hell, keep the damn duck!

There was once two farmers who lived next door to each other. One had a hen and each morning would
look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day, as he looked into his garden, he saw that the hen had laid an egg in his neighbor's garden
next door. He was about to go get it when the other farmer quickly picked it up. The first farmer ran
up to the second farmer and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The
second farmer disagreed because the egg, as he pointed out, was laid on his property.
They argued back and forth for a while until finally the first farmer said, "In my family we normally
solve disputes by the following actions: I'll kick you in the groin and see how long it takes you to
get back up, then you kick me in the groin and see how long it takes for me to get up... whoever gets
back up the fastest, takes the egg."
The second farmer agreed to this. The first more...

There were these three girls: a brunette, a red head, and a blonde. They were all running from the police for the same thing.
So they all run into an alley. There is nothing there but a trash can, a dumpster, and a potato sack.
So then the brunette runs and jump in the trash can and says "when the police come and kick the trash can ima sound like a cat meow meow.
Then the red head goes and jumps in the dumpster and says "when the police come and kick the dumpster ima sound like a dog woof woof.
then the blonde is looking around and says "well there is nothing left but a potato sack.
So the police come into the alley and kicks the trash can and the brunette says meow meow like a cat. then they go and kick the dumpster and the red head goes woof woof like a dog. finally the go to the potato sack and kick it and the blonde goes po-ta-to!!