Kills Jokes / Recent Jokes
Once, Isaac Newton came to India and happened to watch a few Tamil movies. The poor man ended up being terribly confused about the validity of the various laws of physics that he had discovered.
Here are a few scenes from the movies that he watched.
1)Rajanikanth has a brain tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long live Rajanikanth!!!
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth more...
A man is driving along the road to pick up his wife, just after leaving his girlfriends house. Then all of a sudden she pops out infront of him, screamin am going to tell ur wife. So he knocks her down and kills her...
Then he sees his mother-in-law she knows hes bin cheeting so he knocks her down and kills her.
He picks up his wife, (who has been having an affir with the next door neighbour) and they start driving along.
The next door neihbour is on the sidewalk and shouts to the man ur wifes a whore, although the wife doesnt hear. So he thinks to himself i am going to kill this prick but can't make it too obvious. so he drives up slowly trying to hit him with the wing mirror... then all of a sudden BANG!!!
The man looks at his wife puzzeled and she said, "
i thought you where going to miss the BASTERD so i opened the door"
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who's in a hurry?
What do you call someone who kills people in the morning?
A cereal killer...
It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.
A priest was walking along the corridor of the parochial school near the preschool wing when a group of little ones were trotting by on the way to the cafeteria. One little lad of about three or four stopped and looked at him in his clerical clothes and asked, "Why do you dress funny?"
He told him he was a priest and this is the uniform priests wear. Then the boy pointed to the priest's plastic collar tab and asked, "Do you have an owie?"
The priest was perplexed till he realized that to him the collar tab looked like a band aid. So the priest took it out and handed it to the boy to show him.
On the back of the tab are raised letters giving the name of the manufacturer. The little guy felt the letters, and the priest asked, "Do you know what those words say?"
"Yes I do," said the lad, though he was not yet old enough to read. Peering intently at the letters he said, "Kills ticks and fleas for up to six months!"