Kills Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Ten Commandments
1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard on the opposite sexes genetalia
2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, just give one or take one
3. Thou shall kiss at every given opportunity
4. If thou kissed someone, and was slapped, thou shalt not kiss her again.
5. Thou shall never bite when in the act of french kissing
6. Thou shall not pay for sexual intercourse
7. Thou shall not date members of state or Musicians
8. Thou shall not have sexual intercourse in public convieniences.
9. thou should never turn down free sexual intercourse
10. Procreate at will
Religions of the world
Taoism: Shit happens
Confucianism: Confucius say, shit happens
Hinduism: This shit has happened before
Buddhism: Shit happens, yet shit does not happen
Islam: Shit happens, is Allah wills
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to me?
Protestantism: Let shit happen to other people
Catholicism: If shit more...
Bill's all excited about his new rifle. So, he goes bear hunting in Alaska. The first bear he sees is a little brown bear, and he kills it with his first shot. There is a tap on his shoulder, and he turns around to see a big black bear.
The black bear says, "You've got two choices. One, I maul you to death or two, we have sex."
He bends over for the bear. He's sore for 2 days, but he recovers and vows revenge.
Bill heads out on another trip to Alaska and he finds the black bear and kills him. At that moment there is a tap on his shoulder. A huge grizzly is standing right behind him.
The grizzly says, "That was a big mistake. You've got 2 choices, "Either I maul you to death or we have sex."
Bill bends over. He survives, but he's really hurting and takes quite a bit of time to recover, and, he's outraged!
Sure enough, he heads back to Alaska and finds the grizzly and shoots him at point blank range. There's a tap on his shoulder. more...
Three men are driving down a road in there car when it starts to get late.They pull off to the side of the road and walk into a motel, The first man says too the clerk:Excuse me, sir do you have any rooms left? The clerk replies:yes we do have but it is haunted.So the three men take the room and the first one walks into the bathroom and the toilet paper says to him:I am the haunted talking toilet paper.So the man jumps out the window and kills himself.The second man walks into the bathroom and the toilet paper says to him:I am the haunted talking tiolet paper.So the man screams jumps out the window and kills himself.The last man walks in the bathroom and the toilet paper says too him:I am the haunted talking toilet paper.And the man says too it:shut up or Ill make you the brown talking tiolet paper.
The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.