Kinda Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy driving a truck in the middle of nowhere picks up a hitch-hiker. It gets dark and the hitch-hiker falls asleep. Suddenly bang, and thehitch-hiker wakes up,"what the hell was that?". The truck driverreplies, "some kinda animal, go back to sleep."Further the same thing again, bang, "What the hell was that?","some kinda animal again."Further into the night, bang, bang, bang, "What the hell was that?","Some bastard!". "How terrible", says the hitch-hiker, "but there were3 bangs"The truck driver replies, "Yeah, well I had to go through two fencesto get the bastard.. . "

After a long period of unemployment, a lumberjack finally succeeds in finding work. After six months of being out in the boonies and being totally bored to death during his off-hours, he asks one of his coworkers:
"Ya know, I've been out here in the middle of nowhere for six months now, and I'm dying for some excitement. Any women around here?"
His friend answers "Sorry, Bud, no women around here, but if it's excitement you really want, tell ya what... There's an old cabin down by the riverbank, and an old guy name'a Charlie lives there. If you don't mind spending a little money, Charlie will show you the time of your life."
"NO. NO WAY! I DON'T GO IN FOR THAT KINDA STUFF! WHAT THE HELL D'YOU THINK I AM, ANYWAY?"
"Okay, but you're gonna be out here for a long time..."
"I don't care. I'm not doing anything like that, so forget it."
And so...
Six months after this conversation took place, the fella goes back more...

A guy driving a truck in the middle of nowhere picks up a hitch-hiker. It gets dark and the hitch-hiker falls asleep. Suddenly bang, and the hitch-hiker wakes up,"what the hell was that?". The truck driver replies, "some kinda animal, go back to sleep." Further the same thing again, bang, "What the hell was that?", "some kinda animal again." Further into the night, bang, bang, bang, "What the hell was that?", "Some bastard!". "How terrible",says the hitch-hiker, "but there were 3 bangs" The truck driver replies, "Yeah, well I had to go through two fences to get the bastard.. . "

A guy and girl meet at a bar and are instantly attracted to each other. They party all night and at the end decide to go back to his place to continue. Once there, they get passionate and start to make out. When the time is right, the girl finds the bedroom, gets undressed and gets under the covers, waiting for the guy who is now coming out of the bathroom. The guy walks in, starts to undress and stops with just his shorts on. He reaches into his pants pocket, pulls out a magic marker and hands it to her. She takes one look at it an says, "What's this for? Are you some kinda pervert?" He looks at her, drops his shorts and smiles kinda sexy. She smiles, her eyes now wide open and staring in disbelief at his johnson which hangs more that halfway to his knees. He breaks her spell by saying, "Your gonna have to draw a line somewhere, baby."

A hippy walks into a Bar and Grill. The waiter comes up to him and asks him if he wants anything. So the Hippy says' Yeah a cheeseburger. Not too well done, not to rare, but right in the groove.' So the waiter brings his burger and asks if he wants anything to drink. He says' A cup of tea. Not too hot, not too cold, but right in the Groove.' The waiter's kinda getting pissed now, but he brings the tea and kinda slams it on the table. Little while later the waiter comes back and asks the Hippy if he wants any dessert. He says' Yeah some ice cream. Not too chocolate, not too vanilla, but right in the Groove.' So the waiter says' Why don't you kiss my ass. Not the right cheek, not the left cheek, but right in the Groove!'