King Jokes / Recent Jokes
A gorilla was walking thru' a jungle when he came across a deer eating grasses in a clearing. The gorilla roared,' Who's the king of the jungle?', and the deer replied,' Oh, you are, Master.'The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. Again, he roared,'Who's the king of the jungle?', of course, the zebra replied,' You are, master.'The gorilla walked of pleased. Then he came across an elephant.' Who's the king of the jungle?', he roared again, at the elephant. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said,' Ok, ok, there's no need to get mad just because you don't know the answer!'
The cannibal king was having dinner when a servant came running in. "Your Majesty," he said, "the slaves are revolting!""You dont have to tell me," said the king. "Im trying to eat them. "Where did we get these slaves anyway?""From the country next door," replied the servant. "We must get a new butcher," said the king. "Bring me Delia Smith." "We cant, Your Majesty, shes still cooking for you." "Well, bring her to me once shes crispy enough," said the king.
Q: What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? A: King Kong is more sensitive.
I give all of these people a DUH! - DOH! - & Woo-hoo! HANDS-DOWN WINNER OF THE IDIOT CORPORATION AWARD! AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. (Let that be a lesson to him!)WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting out to give himself up. (No one ever said you had to be "smart" to be a cop.)NOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE IT WAS PLANNED OUT WELL... NOT! An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank account. (Maybe he should have pretended to have a brain!)WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY... READ THIS Fire investigators more...
The roundest knight at King Arthur's table was Sir Cumference.
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"I Saw Mommy Marry Larry King"
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"Boris the Red-Nosed Yeltsin Had an 86-Proof Nose"
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"Im Searching For the Real Killers With Every Round of Golf I Play"
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"Oh, Hillary, Oh, Hillary, You're Going to Jail for One-to-Three"
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"Influenza, Influenza, Influenza, Influenza"
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"O Little Network CBS How Still We See Thee Lie"
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"Frosty the Crackhead Had a Crack Pipe Full of Crack"
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"I Have an Irregular Heartbeat Pa-Rum-Pum-Pum-Pum"
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"O. J. Is Free Although He's Prob'ly Guilty"
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"Good King Clinton Dropped His Pants in a Cheap Hotel Room"