Knight Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?"
"Been there, slain that."
"What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?"
"They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know."
"When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only thing they stretched."
"Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chambers floor."
Wench: "What's that sound?" Knight: "That's just the sound of my chain mail drawers expanding."
"Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!"
"Your hovel or mine?"
"Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my long sword in action?"
"Dost thou practice safe hex?"
"Milady, it's not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within."
"I have the key to your more...

Back in the days of Camelot, a young knight was traveling cross country by horseback. He was tired, hungry and the hour was growing late. He spotted a castle nearby and stopped and knocked on the door.
It was answered by the castle owner who was an older knight. When the traveler asked if he could stay overnight, the castle owner said, "No problem."
However, the castle had three bedrooms and the older knight also had two daughters, they each had their own bedroom and the traveler would have to choose who he would sleep with.
One daughter was extremely intelligent but was so ugly she made cats bark.
The other daughter was a breath-taking beauty who was smart as a box of rocks.
Who do you think the young knight chose to sleep with?
Obviously, he chose the older knight... after all, this is a "fairy" tale.
Lyle's Joke Boutique.

All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades.
One knight told his best friend - "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not return from the Crusade."
The company of knights were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching.
Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted.
A horseman approached. It was the knight's best friend.
He yells - "Hey, you gave me the wrong key!!"

Bobby Knight, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded IU flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Bobby," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."
Bobby felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a three-story mansion with a black and gold sidewalk, 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous Purdue flag and, in every window, a Boilermaker logo. Bobby looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was a good coach, I won 3 NCAA titles, 600+ games and I even went to the hall of fame. So why does Gene Keady get a better house than me?" God chuckled, and said "Bobby, that's not Gene Keady's house, it's mine!"

All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades.
One knight told his best friend - "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not return from the Crusade."
The company of knights were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching.
Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted.
A horseman approached. It was the knight's best friend.
He yelss - "Hey, you gave me the wrong key!!"

Bobby Knight, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded IU flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Bobby," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."Bobby felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a three-story mansion with a black and gold sidewalk, 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous Purdue flag and, in every window, a Boilermaker logo.Bobby looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was a good coach, I won 3 NCAA titles, 600+ games and I even went to the hall of fame. Sowhy does Gene Keady get a better house than me?"God chuckled, and said "Bobby, that's not Gene Keady's house, it's mine!"

All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades.One knight told his best friend - "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not return from the Crusade."The company of knights were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching.Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted.A horseman approached. It was the knight's best friend.He yelss - "Hey, you gave me the wrong key!!"