Knowledge Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man, showing off his knowledge to another, asked if he knew what shape the world was.
"I don't know," said the second. "Give me a clue."
"It is the same shape as the buttons on my jacket," said the first.
"Square," said the second.
"That is my Sunday jacket," said the first. "I meant my weekday jacket. Now what shape is the world?"
"Square on Sunday, round on weekdays," said the second man.
A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says, "Here's a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature! "What else do you have?" asks the student. "Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist. The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks, "Do you have a pill for math?" The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment." He goes back into the storeroom and brings back a whopper of a pill and plunks it on the counter. "I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student. The pharmacist replied, "Well, you know. .. mat h always was a little hard to swallow."
Two mathematicians were having dinner in a restaurant, arguing about the
average mathematical knowledge of the American public. One mathematician
claimed that this average was woefully inadequate, the other maintained
that it was surprisingly high.
"I'll tell you what," said the cynic, "ask that waitress a simple math
question. If she gets it right, I'll pick up dinner. If not, you do."
He then excused himself to visit the men's room, and the other called
the waitress over.
"When my friend comes back," he told her, "I'm going to ask you a question,
and I want you to respond 'one third x cubed.' There's twenty bucks in
it for you." She agreed.
The cynic returned from the bathroom and called the waitress over. "The
food was wonderful, thank you," the mathematician started. "Incidentally,
do you know what the integral of x squared is?"
The waitress looked pensive; almost more...
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."
We should all be on the look out for people in our Company who do things like
this.
Sightings of the Stupid ---
Sighting #1:
I was busy writing some computer program for one of my classes and my
roommate asked me if he could use my coffee maker. I said, "sure." The
next thing I hear is, "Hey, where do you put the coffee?" I turn to
see that he has filled the filter basket with water and is
(unsuccessfully) trying to keep the water in the basket by plugging
the hole at the bottom with his finger. He and the floor are both
covered with water.
Sighting #2:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport
employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I
know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."
Sighting #3:
The stoplight more...
Salary Theorem states that "Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People." This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates: 1. Knowledge is Power. 2. Time is Money. As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time Since: Knowledge = Power Time = Money It follows that: Knowledge = Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge. Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done. Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.