Knowledge Jokes / Recent Jokes

A new aid to rapid-almost magical-learning has made its appearance.
Indications are that if it catches on all the electronic gadgets will
be so much junk.
The new device is known as Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge. The
makers generally call it by its initials, BOOK(tm).
Many advantages are claimed over the old-style learning and teaching
aids on which most people are brought up nowadays. It has no wires, no
electric circuit to break down. No connection is needed to an electricity
power point. It is made entirely without mechanical parts to go wrong or need
replacement.
Anyone can use BOOK(tm), even children, and it fits comfortably into the
hands. It can be conveniently used sitting in an armchair by the fire.
How does this revoluntionary, unbelievably easy invention work?
Basically BOOK(tm) consists only of a large number of paper sheets.
These may run to hundreds where BOOK(tm) covers a lengthy program of
information. more...

Car Parking
The smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman was one of 19. 36m (63ft 2ins), equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. Elizabeth Simpkins, driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova' Swing' on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuvre at 11. 15am in Ropergate, Pontefract, and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement 8 hours 14 minutes later. There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and two adjoining cars, as well as a shop frontage and two lampposts.
Incorrect Driving
The longest journey completed with the handbrake on was one of 504 km (313 miles) from Stranraer to Holyhead by Dr. Julie Thorn (GB) at the wheel of a Saab 900 on the 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled burning two miles into her journey at Aird but pressed on to Holyhead with smoke billowing from the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed journey with the choke fully out and the right indicator more...

Sighting #1: I was busy writing some computer program for one of my classes and my roommate asked me if he could use my coffee maker. I said, "sure." The next thing I hear is, "Hey, where do you put the coffee?" I turn to see that he has filled the filter basket with water and is (unsuccessfully) trying to keep the water in the basket by plugging the hole at the bottom with his finger. He and the floor are both covered with water. Sighting #2: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask." Sighting #3: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, when he asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind more...

Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people." This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates: Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money. As every engineer knows: Power = Work / TimeAnd since: Knowledge = Power And: Time = Money, It is therefore true that Knowledge = Work / Money Solving this equation for Money, we get: Money = Work / KnowledgeThus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of Work done. Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.

Dear Friend,
The disobedience of Adam and Eve to God gave rise to, knowledge through systems of man’s education which led to, men valuing wrecking a woman’s sanctity and women treasuring such values and thereafter calling it heaven and rejecting Jesus.
( Jeremiah 17: 5 ) Thus saith the Lord; cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the Lord. ( KJV )
( Hebrews 7: 27 ) Who needeth not daily, as those high priests, to offer up sacrifice, first for his own sins, and then for the people’s: for this he did once, when he offered up himself. ( KJV )
Now we believers in Jesus Christ our Lord has to cast out in Jesus name personally, “the spirit of knowledge, good and evil” until its completely destroyed from the Lives of those whom we know and even those whom we know only by their names, and finally from our own Lives.

After applying some simple algebra to some common phrases and cliches, a new understanding can be reached of the secret of wealth and success.
Here it goes.
(K)nowledge is (P)ower
(T)ime is (M)oney, and as every engineer knows,
(P)ower is (W)ork over (T)ime.
So, substituting algebraic equations for these time-worn bits of wisdom, we get:
K = P (1)
T = M (2)
P = W/T (3)
Now, do a few simple substitutions:
Put W/T in for P in equation (1), which yields:
K = W/T (4)
Put M in for T into equation (4), which yields:
K = W/M (5).
Now we've got something. Expanding back into English, we get:
Knowledge equals Work over Money.
What this MEANS is that:
1. The More You Know, the More Work You Do,
and
2. The More You Know, the Less Money You Make.
Solving for Money, we get:
M = W/K (6)
Money equals Work Over Knowledge.
From equation (6) we see that Money approaches infinity as Knowledge approaches 0, more...

Sighting #1: I was busy writing some computer program for one of my classes and my roommate asked me if he could use my coffee maker. I said,' Sure.' The next thing I hear is,' Hey, where do you put the coffee?' I turn to see that he has filled the filter basket with water and is unsuccessfully trying to keep the water in the basket by plugging the hole at the bottom with his finger. He and the floor are both covered with water.

Sighting #2: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked,' Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' I said,' If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled and nodded knowingly,' That's why we ask.'

Sighting #3: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. more...