Ladder Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jack was walking around when he noticed a ladder that went up into the clouds. After climbing the first cloud he met a stinky, unattractive woman who said, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success."Jack chose to climb the ladder.At the next cloud he met a slightly better looking woman who said, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success." Figuring it only gets better, Jack chose to climb the ladder some more.At the next cloud, he met a very attractive woman who said, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success." Things were getting better the higher he got, so Jack chose to climb the ladder even more.At the fourth cloud, he met the most gorgeous woman to ever grace the Universe. She looked at him seductively and begged, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success." Jack was extremely tempted to satisfy his urges but still, he climbed the ladder to success.At the fifth cloud, Jack was startled when a greasy, 500lb naked more...

One March day my wife said that the house needed painting. "It's still winter," I replied. "Forget it."
In April, she told me she had bought some exterior latex. I said that it was still too cold to paint.
In May, I heard her outside one day yelling for help, and we set up the ladder so she could start painting. Then I went inside to get a beer. As I sat in a lawn chair not far from where my wife was working, a neighbor passed by. "Aren't you ashamed?" she asked. "How can you sit there drinking beer while your wife is up on a ladder painting the house?"
Glancing up at my wife, I responded, "She doesn't like beer."

There was a man called Joe, who lived near a river.
Joe was a very religious man.
One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and he was forced to climb onto his porch roof.
While sitting there, a man in a boat comes along and tells Joe to get in the boat with him.
Joe says "No, that's ok. God will take care of me."
So, the man in the boat drives off.
The water rises, so Joe climbs onto his roof.
At that time, another boat comes along and the person in that one tells Joe to get in.
Joe replies, "No, that's ok. God will take care of me."
The person in the boat then leaves.
The water rises even more, and Joe climbs on his chimney.
Then a helicopter comes and lowers a ladder. The woman in the helicopter tells Joe to climb up the ladder and get in.
Joe tells her "That's ok."
The woman says "Are you sure?"
Joe says, "Yeah, I'm sure God will take care of me.
Finally, the more...

This guy was walking in town and he walks by a sign that said "Climb The Ladder To Success, Only $2."
So he said "I will do it."
So, he climbs the ladder and part way up he sees a hot girl and says "Maybe they will get hotter as I get further."
So he climbs higher and he sees a hotter girl and says the same thing.
He sees another hot girl and says "I will go higher".
So he goes higher and he sees a big fat hairy biker and the biker says "Hi, I'm Sess."

A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder.
He reached a cloud, upon which was sat a rather plump and homely looking woman. "Screw me or climb the ladder to success" she said. No contest, thought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the next cloud. On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, who was slightly easier on the eye.
"Screw me or climb the ladder to success" she said. "Well", thought the man, "might as well carry on. On the next cloud was an even more attractive lady who, this time, was really hot.
"Screw me now or climb the ladder to success" she uttered. As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man thought to himself that this was getting better the further he went. On the next cloud was an absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, everything he could want. "Screw me or climb the ladder to success" she flirted.
Unable more...

A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder.He reached a cloud, upon which was sat a rather plump and homely looking woman. "Screw me or climb the ladder to success" she said. No contest, thought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the next cloud. On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, who was slightly easier on the eye."Screw me or climb the ladder to success" she said. "Well", thought the man, "might as well carry on. On the next cloud was an even more attractive lady who, this time, was really hot."Screw me now or climb the ladder to success" she uttered. As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man thought to himself that this was getting better the further he went. On the next cloud was an absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, everything he could want. "Screw me or climb the ladder to success" she flirted.Unable to imagine what more...

As one who is an unabashed admirer of cats, telling this story
is somewhat painful. This is a true story which happened during the late
1970's. My wife has firsthand knowledge of the circumstances since, at the
time, she was a police officer in whose jurisdiction the incident occurred.
There is a small rural town, somewhat northeast to the city of
Niagara Falls, NY. One evening, a resident of the town called the local
volunteer fire department to request assistance in removing their cat
from a tree. Since this was a "questionable" call, the fire control
dispatcher called the fire chief at home to ask if he wanted to respond.
The chief said sure, call out the department, since it was early evening
and it shouldn't be a problem for the volunteers to respond.
The fire department responded with a rescue truck which had an
extension ladder. The tree, however, was too tall and willowy to support
the weight of the extension more...