Laden Jokes / Recent Jokes

After his death, Osama bin Laden went to paradise. He was greeted by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and yelled angrily, "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!"
Then Patrick Henry punched Osama in the nose and James Madison kicked him in the groin.
Bin Laden was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, Thomas Jefferson and 66 other early Americans. As he writhed in pain on the ground, an angel appeared.
Bin Laden groaned, "This is not what I was promised!"
The angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you! What did you think I said?"

Did you know we caught bin laden. no... we spread the new liquid viagra around the mountains of afghanistan and he sort of popped up!!!

Osama bin Laden goes to a psychic who says "You will die on an American holiday" Needless to say bin Laden is shocked. "Which one?" he asks. "Doesn't matter", says the psychic. "Whatever day you die will become an American holiday."

Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding on a camel when they stopped at a small town.
Bin Laden got off the camel and lifted up its tail and looked at the camel's butt.
Just then a guy came over and said, "What are you doing?"
Osama replied, "About two miles back I heard someone say, 'Hey, look at the two assholes on that camel.'"

Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" David's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama Bin Laden," David says. "Why Osama Bin Laden," his father asks in shock. "Well," David says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." His father's heart swells and he looks at his boy more...

Mondays
8:00 - "Husseinfeld"
8:30 - "Mad About Everything"
9:00 - "Suddenly Sanctions"
9:30 - "The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show"
10:00 - "Allah McBeal"
Tuesdays
8:00 - "Wheel of Terror and Fortune"
8:30 - "The Price is Right If Usama Says It's Right"
9:00 - "Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things"
9:30 - "Afganistans Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
10:00 - "Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer"
Wednesdays
8:00 - "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
8:30 - "Bowling For Food"
9:00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread"
9:30 - "Just Shoot Everyone"
10:00 - "Veilwatch"
Thursdays
8:00 - "Matima Loves Chachi"
8:30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H"
9:00 - "Veronicas Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils"
9:30 more...

Osama bin Laden finally gets his due when a one-ton tomahawk
missile lands
on his tent one day. He immediately goes to
hell, where the devil is waiting
for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on
my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to
stay here,
so I'll tell you what I'm going to do: I've got a
couple of people here
who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll
let one of them go, but you have
to take their place. I'll
even let YOU decide who leaves."
Osama bin
Laden thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil
opened the first room.
In it was Manuel Noriega and a large pool of water. He kept
diving in and
surfacing empty-handed. Over and over and over.
Such was his fate in hell.
"No," said Osama bin Laden, "I don't think so. I'm not a good
swimmer and
I don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led more...