Lankan Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once James Bond and a Sri Lankan cricketer guy were flying together, seated next to each other.

Sri Lankan cricketer: "Hello, May I know your name please?"

James Bond: "I am Bond. James Bond."
James Bond: "And you?"

Sri Lankan cricketer: "I am Vaas..... Chaminda Vaas..... Joseph Chaminda Vaas..... Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas...... Patabendige Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas...... Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas "

James Bond collapses.

Sri lankan president, American, iranian and Egyptian discussed about the best in their countries.
American president said, we have the best intelligent service in the world that is CIA.
Iranian president said we produce the best carpet in the world.
Egyptian president said we have the most beautiful girls in the world.
At last the lankan president said, i have the highly skilled men in my defence who can f**k egyptian girls on an iranian carpet without the knowledge of CIA.
May God bless those heros.

Had they spoken Computer lingo, this would be what the Sri Lankan political leaders might be saying:
Chandrika Kumaratunge: Why should I be the one who gets all the blaming whenever the computer goes down? UNP had misused it for 17 years and when given to me, it was in a real bad shape. See what I have done to improve its performance within just four years. Haven't I fixed a brand new screen filter? Haven't I given it a brand new mouse pad?
Ranil Wickremasinghe: She promised a Pentium and gave you a damn 286; She promised a 56k modem and gave only an outdated 14. 4k one; She promised 64MB RAM and now tells you to be satisfied with 8MB. So why don't you vote for me? I'll give everyone of you a brand new Pentium III with grand multimedia kits.
Anura Bandaranaike: That blue computer sucks. It has no processing power at all. The only working part it has is its' MOTHER BOARD'.
Wimal Weerawansa(JVP): As a party, JVP vehemently opposes violence. We do not even allow our more...

One day there guys (An American, A Russian and a
Sri Lankan) were travelling around the world.
The American said "we are now flying over New York".
The other two asked "why?", The American replied "we
can see the Sky High buildins".
A few hours later the Russian said "We are now flying
over Russia". The other two said "Why?". The russian
replied "you can see our sky labs".
Finally, the Sri Lankan said "we are now flying over
Slave Island - Sri Lanka". As before the other two said
"Why?". The Sri Lankan replied "I kept my hands out
and my wedding ring is now missing"