Laugh Jokes / Recent Jokes
Show up totally smashed. Be as obnoxious and unruly as possible. When the priest says his little "If anyone know any reason..." ditty, say, "Look at him! Look at her! These people should not reproduce!" or rattle off every mean, nasty thing the ex ever did to you, including that time when he went to see "Jesus Christ Superstar" with his mother on the night of your anniversary. Send hookers. Laugh incessantly during the ceremony, for no apparent reason. Trip the bride on the way up. Wrestling, anyone? Two words: bomb threat. Have a nice heart-to-heart with the mother of the bride (or groom). What you say is up to you, and the more horrid the better. Pretend you've been seeing the groom secretly. Claim you've had his love child and he looks just like him. Say you've had an affair with the bride if you're female, and the groom if you're male. Make a big production about how this is all killing you. Laugh at anyone who takes you seriously. Silly string! or, more...
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs louder.
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?
A: Tell her a joke on Monday.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
A man goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor, I've got this problem, only you've got to promise not to laugh."
The doctor replies, "Of course I won't laugh, that would be thoroughly unprofessional. In over 20 years of being a doctor I've never laughed at a patient."
"OK then," says the man, and he drops his trousers. The doctor is greeted by the sight of the tiniest penis he has ever seen in his life. Unable to control himself, he falls about laughing on the floor. Ten minutes later he is able to struggle up to his feet and wipe the tears from his eyes.
"I'm so sorry," he says to the patient, "I don't know what came over me, I won't let it happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"
The man looks up at the doctor sadly and says, "It's swollen."
A dude walks into a pub with a horse and challenges anyone to
make his horse laugh for $50. Everyone at the pub has a go at
trying to make the horse laugh without any luck.
Then the dude claims to be able to make his horse laugh for
$100. Having got the go from the pub dwellers, he whispers
something into the horse's ear and the horse starts laughing,
much to the amazement of the people in the pub. The guy walks
away with his $100.
A week later the guys arrives at the same pub and claims to be
able to make the horse cry for $100. He then walks his horse to
the mens room and comes out in half a minute with the horse
crying. He then collects his $100 and walks out
On they way out the bartender approaches him
Bar Tender: How on earth did you manage to make that horse
laugh? ?
Guy: I told him my dick was bigger than his
Bar Tender: Okay then how did you make him cry? ?
Guy: Easy, I showed him my dick