Lavatory Jokes

The following extracts are perfectly genuine - taken from actual letters sent to the DHSS (Social Security & HUD). Although rather crude they are written in good faith by the senders....



Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

Can you please tell me when our repairs are going to be done as my wife is about to become an expectant mother.

I want some repairs doing to my cooker as it backfired and burnt my knob off.

The toilet is blocked and we can't bath the children until it is cleared.

The man next door has a large erection in his back garden which is unsightly and dangerous.

Will you please send someone to mend our broken path as my wife tripped and fell on it and she is now pregnant.

Our kitchen floor is very damp and we have two children and we would like a third so will you please send somebody round to do something about it.

Would you please repair our more...

I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
The lavatory is blocked. This is caused by the house next door throwing their balls on the roof.
This is to let you know there is a smell coming from the man next door.
The toilet seat is cracked - where do I stand?
I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.
I am still having trouble with smoke in my built in drawers.
I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
Can you please tell me when our repairs are going to be done, as my wife is about to become an expectant mother.
I want some repairs doing to my cooker, as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
I awoke this morning and found my water boiling.
The person next door has a large erection more...

Pausing in the airport lavatory, ShocHey was surprised to find a small hole in the wall with a sign above it which read "Your Wife Away from Home."
Since there was no one around, Shockley unzipped his pants, stuck his member in the hole, and put two quarters in the slot. At once, he experienced a terrible pain and withdrew his organ-but not soon enough: There, neatly sewed on the tip, was a button.