Law Jokes / Recent Jokes
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical more...
The complaint letter from Judi: We Blonde jokes at the ofise are tired of all the the dum stoopid jokes about us. We think this is hairassment. It causes us grate stress and makes our roots turn dark. We have hired a loyer and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol. We will take this all the way to the supream cort if we have two. Juj Thomas knos all about hairassment and he will be on are side. We have also talked to the govner to make a new law to stop this pursicushun. We want a law that makes peepol tell brewnet jokes as much as blond jokes and every so often a red head joke. If we don't get our way we will not date anybody that ain't blond and we will make up jokes about you and we will laff. Sined by the Blonde jokes at the ofise (sine with a penseel so you can erace it if you make a mistake)
Los Angeles, Fri. In yet another Hollywood misrepresentation of Malaysia, a new movie about the world's most open black market, is being filmed. Jack Moore, an American on holiday with two friends, discovered the real pleasures of' Fascinating Malaysia'. A land where thousands and thousands of movies are available on VCD for only US$1. 50 per title. After stocking up their backpacks with tons of contraband VCDs, Jack was left with the task of packing the stuff and mailing it back home. In an unexpected plot twist, his two friends returned to the US, while Jack stayed behind to tour the rest of Bangsar. Unfortunately for him, the authorities raided his room at Rumah Tumpangan Paris before the Postlaju pick-up arrived. Jack now faces the death penalty for possession of illegal VCDs. According to the script, a little known Malaysian law states that possession of more than 5 pirated copies of the same movie subjects the offender to capital punishment. An even lesser known part of the law more...
An economist is someone who gets rich explaining others why they are poor.
The last severe depression and banking crisis could not have been achieved by normal civil servants and politicians, it required economists involvement.
Contagion: A strory demostrating the possible outcomes from interlinkages in the financial markets.
Two economists sit down to play chess. They study the board for 24 hours and declare a stale-mate.
Q: What does it take to be a good economist?
A: An unshakeable grasp of the obvious!
Q: What`s the difference between mathematics and economics?
A: Mathematics is incomprehensible; economics just doesn`t make any sense.
An economist is someone who didn`t have enough personality to become an accountant.
Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
Q: What`s the difference between a finance major and an economics major?
A: more...
In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property. It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 am and after 4 pm in Norfolk, Virginia. Ducks quacking after 10 pm in Essex Falls, New Jersey are breaking the law. In Quitman, Georgia, it is against the law for a chicken to cross any road within the city limits. In McDonald, Ohio, farmers cannot march a goose down a city street. And fowl, particularly roosters, are prohibited from going into bakeries in Massachusetts. In Kansas, it is illegal for chicken thieves to work during daylight hours. In New York, frogs may be taken from their ponds from June 16 to September 30, but only between sunrise and sunset. In Pennsylvania, no one is allowed to shoot bullfrogs on a Sunday. In Arizona, the bullfrog-hunting season is permanently closed. In Vermont, you can be fined if your pig runs in a public park without the permission of a selectman. French Lick Springs, Indiana, once passed a law requiring more...
Acheson`s Rule Of The Bureaucracy: A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer. - Dean Acheson
Action`s Law: Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Adler`s Distinction: Language is all that separates us from the lower animals, and from the bureaucrats.
Advertising Rule: In writing a patent-medicine advertisement, first convince the reader that he has the disease he is reading about; secondly, that it is curable.
Air Force Inertia Axiom: Consistency is always easier to defend than correctness.
Allen`s Distinction: The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won`t get much sleep. - Woody Allen
Albrecht`s Law: Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well-being.
Alden`s Laws: (1) Giving away baby clothes and furniture is the major cause of pregnancy. (2) Always be backlit. (3) Sit down whenever possible.
Andrea`s Admonition: Never bestow profanity upon a driver who more...