Law Jokes / Recent Jokes
An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.
Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand.
Bentley`s second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!
Berta`s Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. "The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist."
Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist.
Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn`t fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!"
Q: How more...
Approval Seeker`s Law: Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least. - Washington writer Rozanne Weissman The Aquinas Axiom: What the gods get away with, the cows don`t. Army Axiom: Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood. Arnold`s Laws of Documentation: (1) If it should exist, it doesn`t. (2) If it does exist, it`s out of date. (3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two laws. Astrology Laws: It`s always the wrong time of the month. - Rozanne Weissman Avery`s Rule of Three: Trouble strikes in series of threes, but when working around the house the next job after a series of three is not the fourth job - it`s the start of a brand new series of three. Baer`s Quartet: Wat`s good politics is bad economics; what`s bad politics is good economics; what`s good economics is bad politics; what`s bad economics is good politics. - Eugene Baer (Baer also allows that it can be restated somewhat more compactly as "What`s good politics is more...
Two law partners leave their office and go to lunch. In the middle of lunch the junior partner slaps his forehead.
"Damn," he says. "I forgot to lock the office safe before we left."
His partner replies " What are you worried about? We're both here."
Anthony`s Law of Force: Don`t force it, get a larger hammer.
Anthony`s Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner or the workshop. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always strike your toes.
Baker`s Law: Misery no longer loves company, Nowadays it insists on it. - Columnist Russell Baker
Banacek`s Eighteenth Polish Proverb: The hippo has no sting, but the wise man would rather be sat upon by the bee.
Barker`s Proof: Proofreading is more effective after publication.
Becker`s Law: It is much harder to find a job than to keep one. - Jules Becker Co. (Becker goes on to claim that his law permeates industry as well as government, "... once a person has been hired inertia sets in, and the employer would rather settle for the current employee`s incompetence and idiosyncrasies than look for a new employee.")
Belle`s Constant: The ratio of time more...
Berra`s Law: You can observe a lot just by watching. - Yogi Berra
Bierman`s Laws of Contracts: (1) In any given document, you can`t cover all the "what if`s". (2) Lawyers stay in business resolving all the unresolved "what if`s". (3) Every resolved "what if" creates two unresolved "what if`s".
Billing`s Law: Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so. - Josh Billings
Billings Phenomenon: The conclusions of most good operations research studies are obvious. - Robert E. Machol (The name refers to a well-known Billings story in which a farmer becomes concerned that his black horses are eating more than his white horses. He does a detailed study of the situation and finds that he has more black horses than white horses, Machol points out.)
Bloom`s Seventh Law of Litigation: The judge`s jokes are always funny.
Blutarsky`s Axiom: Nothing is impossible for the man who will not more...
One day, I hopped into a taxi and took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly, a black car, jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed the brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches!
The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. I mean, was really friendly.
So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call,' The Law of the Garbage Truck'
He explained, "Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. NEVER take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on with the routine life." more...
Boucher`s Observation: He who blows his own horn always plays the music several octaves higher than originally written.
Bove`s Theorem: The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.
Boyle`s Laws: (1) The success of any venture will be helped by prayer, even in the wrong denomination. (2) When things are going well, someone will inevitably experiment detrimentally. (3) The deficiency will never show itself during the dry runs. (4) Information travels more surely to those with a lessor need to know. (5) An original idea can never emerge from committee in the original. (6) When the product is destined to fail, the delivery system will perform perfectly. (7) The crucial memorandum will be snared in the out-basket by the paper clip of the overlying correspondence and go to file. (8) Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan. (9) Performance is directly affected by the more...