Law Jokes / Recent Jokes
Bureau Termination, Law of: When a government bureau is scheduled to be phased out, the number of employees in that bureau will double within 12 months after the decision is made.
Brooke`s Law: Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
Calkin`s Law of Menu Language: The number of adjectives and verbs that are added to the description of a menu item is in inverse proportion to the quality of the dish.
Canada Bill Jones`s Motto: It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
Canada Bill Jones`s Supplement: A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
Captain Penny`s Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you Can`t Fool Mom.
Carlson`s Consolation: Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example.
Carson`s Observation on Footwear: If the shoe fits, buy the other one, more...
Dumb Indiana laws and humor, relating to many aspects of the state, its weather, and its people.
Indiana Crazy Law Looking for more dumb laws? Check out!
One man may not back into a parking spot becasue it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.
Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads.
Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.
Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.
State government officials who engage in private duels can be dismissed from their post.
Drinking from your own bottle in a bar can lead to your arrest.
A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.
It is illegal to sell cars on more...
Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you more...
Dumb Iowa laws and humor, relating to many aspects of the state, its weather, and its people.
Iowa Crazy Law It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.
In Hartford, Connecticut: it is illegal to cross a street while walking on your hands.
In Ottumwa, Iowa: it is unlawful for a man to wink at any woman that he does not know.
In Los Angeles: you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
In Zion, Illinois: it is illegal to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other animals kept as pets.
In Carmel, New York: a man cannot go outside while wearing a jacket and trousers that do not match.
In St. Louis: it's illegal to sit on the kerb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.
In Baltimore, Maryland: it's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-storey window within the city-limits. It's also illegal to take a lion to the cinema.
In Carrizozo, New Mexico: it's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public (includes legs and face.)
In Michigan: a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
In New York: it is against the law to throw a more...
A Collection of Lawyer Jokes
An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?" The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, "Four." The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions. Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced "Four." The lawyer was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the more...
Once upon a time there lived three men: a doctor, a chemist, and an engineer. For some reason all three offended the king and were sentenced to die on the same day. The day of the execution arrived, and the doctor was led up to the guillotine. As he strapped the doctor to the guillotine, the executioner asked, "Head up or head down?" "Head up," said the doctor. "Blindfold or no blindfold?" "No blindfold." So the executioner raised the axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade--and stopped barely an inch above the doctor's neck. Well, the law stated that if an execution didn't succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the doctor was set free. Then the chemist was led up to the guillotine. "Head up or head down?" said the executioner. "Head up." "Blindfold or no blindfold?" "No blindfold." So the executioner raised his axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade--and stopped an inch above the more...