Lawnmower Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. Whats the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe? A. You can tune the lawnmower, and the owners neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and dont return it.
Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? A: It's all in the grip. Q: What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax? A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it. Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? A: Vibrato. Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Five. One to handle the bulb, and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it. Q: If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus? A: The out-of-tune sax player! You were hallucinating the other two. Q: How do you make a chainsaw sound like a bari-sax? A: Add vibrato. Q: What's the definition of a gentleman? A: One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't! Q: How many sax players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Sixty. One to change the bulb and fifty-nine to talk more...
Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: To get away from the noise.Q: What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper? A: Good question. We're still trying to find out too.Bagpipes (noun) - I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made object never equalled the purity of sound achieved by the pig. -Alfred Hitchcock Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison? A. Shoot one. Q. What's the definition of a minor second? A. Two bagpipes playing in unison. Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion? A. No one cries when you chop up an bagpipe. Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline? A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline. Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch? A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks. Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded? A. You more...
A french horn and a lawnmower?
You can tune a lawnmower.
An oboe and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces.
A saxophone and a chainsaw?
The grip.
An accordion and a trampoline?
You are supposed to take off your shoes before jumping on the
trampoline.
A trumpet player and a government bond?
Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.