Out-of-tune Jokes

Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?
A: It`s all in the grip.

Q: What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?
A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner`s neighbors don`t mind if you don`t return the sax when you borrow it.

Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower?
A: Vibrato.

Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to handle the bulb, and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would`ve done it.

Q: If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?
A: The out-of-tune sax player! You were hallucinating the other two.

Q: How do you make a chainsaw sound like a bari-sax?
A: Add vibrato.

Q: What`s the definition of a gentleman?
A: One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn`t!

Q: How more...

Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?
A: It`s all in the grip.
Q: What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?
A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner`s neighbors don`t mind if you don`t return the sax when you borrow it.
Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower?
A: Vibrato.
Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to handle the bulb, and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would`ve done it.
Q: If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?
A: The out-of-tune sax player! You were hallucinating the other two.
Q: How do you make a chainsaw sound like a bari-sax?
A: Add vibrato.
Q: What`s the definition of a gentleman?
A: One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn`t!
Q: How many sax players does it take to change a more...

Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? A: It's all in the grip. Q: What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax? A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it. Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? A: Vibrato. Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Five. One to handle the bulb, and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it. Q: If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus? A: The out-of-tune sax player! You were hallucinating the other two. Q: How do you make a chainsaw sound like a bari-sax? A: Add vibrato. Q: What's the definition of a gentleman? A: One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't! Q: How many sax players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Sixty. One to change the bulb and fifty-nine to talk more...

Q: If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus? A: The out-of-tune sax player! You were hallucinating the other two.

Q: How do you get two piccolos to play a perfect unison?
A: Shoot one.

Q: What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you chop up an oboe..

Q: What do you call an oboist who is deaf?
A: Principal.

Q: How many English horn players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but he gyrates so much he'll fall off the ladder.

Q: What's the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

Q: What do a clarinet and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

Q: What's the definition of a nerd?
A: Someone who owns his own alto clarinet.

Q: What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: What's the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?
A: You can tune the lawnmower.

Q: If you were lost in the woods, who more...