Leak Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day Bill Clinton was jogging down the street
with his bodyguard, Bubba. Bill says to Bubba, " I
have to take a piss Bubba!" Bubba replies, " Your
the president sir, you can piss anywhere you want."
So Bill went behind a bush to take a leak. Bubba
decides to take a leak also, so he goes behind the
bush with Bill. Bill looks down at Bubba's dick
and said," Damn Bubba, how did you get such a big
dick?" So Bubba told him that he went home every
night and beat his dick on the bed post.
So Bill said, " Does that really work?"
Bubba pointed to his dick and said,"Here is the
proof sir!"
So bill went home late that night, walked into
his bedroom and found Hillery asleep so he left the
lights off. He got undressed, went to the bed post
and started beating his dick on it.
Hillery woke up and said," Is that you Bubba?"

HIS and HERS Road Trip
HERS:
1. Pulls off at wrong exit.
2. Opens window
3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer
4. Arrives at destination presently.
HIS:
1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's the correct one.
2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's right.
3. Drives an extra 5 miles just in case.
4. Finally rolls down window
5. Hocks a loogie
6. Pulls up to a 7 -11
7. Gets three hot-dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky
8. Asks person behind counter how to get back onto the highway.
9. Gets back into car.
10. Farts
11. After he closes the door.
12. Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-11.
13. Drives down a dirt road with no street lights insisting this is the way back because guy from 7-11 said it was.
14. Almost hits a deer
15. Curses the night
16. Curses you
17. Curses the large slurpee
18. Stops by the side of the more...

An explosion ripped through Baghdad the other day, nothing new. In fact most people wouldn't even read a story about an Iraqi explosion unless Lindsey Lohan was involved. This explosion, that killed 47, was special. How special? I'm glad you asked. This explosion, one of many that day, wasn't caused by insurgents or improvised explosive devices, this was caused by a gas leak, a well timed and detonated gas leak. According to US Officials, an explosion that ripped through a mosque and a library was caused by a gas leak and not sectarian violence that has gripped the country. I, for one, would like to thank the Bush administration for fighting the gas leaks over there so we don't have to fight them over here.
One survivor, Abu Malik Ababas, said, "When I saw that rocket coming towards the minaret, my first thought was,'Did I turn off the stove?'."

Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn`t be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example, observe the following examples below. The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40, 000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth." In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead." Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin` good" came out as "eat your more...

A man walks up to the bartender and says, "I bet you $100 dollars that I can stand on your bar and leak into a jar without spilling a drop."
The bartender laughs and tells him that is it such an impossible bet, he'll take it. So the man stands up on the bar, and cheering to his friends in the back, begins to leak.
He not only misses the jar, but doesn't even get a single drop in. He pisses all over the bar and floor and over the bartender. When he is done the bartender is still laughing and asks the man to give him the hundred bucks. The man hands over the money and smiles at the bartender.
The bartender asks him what is so funny when he just obviously lost so badly. The man replies, " I just bet my friends $1000 that I could leak all over you and your bar and not only would you not mind, but you would find it hilariously funny!".

Below are fine examples of what happens when marketing translations fail to reach a foreign country in an understandable way. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea." Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick". Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: Nothing sucks like an Electrolux. The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem-Feeling Free", was translated into the Japanese market as "When smoking Salem, you will feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty." When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of more...

Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn't be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example... The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40, 000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth." In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead." Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off." The American more...