Learn Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required. 1. Combatting Stupidity2. You Too Can Do Housework3. Resistance to Beer4. How To Properly Fill An Ice Tray5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear For Christmas (Give Us Credit Cards)6. Understanding The Female Response To Coming Home Drunk At 4: 00am7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (also called "Don't Wash My Silks")9. Get A Life - Learn To Cook10. How Not To Act Like An Idiot When You Are Obviously Wrong11. Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence13. You, The Weaker Sex14. Reasons To Give Flowers15. Garbage - Getting It To The Curb16. You Cannot Always Wear Whatever You Please17. How To Put Down A Toilet Seat18. Give Me A Break - Why We Know Your Excuses Are Lies19. How To Go Shopping With Your Mate Without more...

You can`t win. You can`t break even. You can`t quit the game.

You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.

You get the most of what you need the least.

You have the capacity to learn from mistakes. You`ll learn a lot today.

You may easily play a joke on a man who likes to argue; agree with him.

You never find an article until you replace it.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

You never want the one you can afford.

You remember to mail a letter only when you`re nowhere near a mailbox.

You want it when?

You will always find something in the last place you look.

There are two Jewish men sitting in a wonderful deli frequented almost exclusively by Jews in the Jewish section of town. They are talking among themselves in Yiddish. A Chinese waiter comes up and in fluent and impeccable Yiddish, asks them if everything is okay, can he get them anything, and so forth. The Jewish men are dumbfounded. "My God, where did he learn such perfect Yiddish?" they both think. After they pay the bill they ask the manager of the store, also fluent in Yiddish. "Where did your waiter learn such fabulous Yiddish?" The owner looks around and leans in so no one will hear and says, "Shhhh. He thinks we're teaching him English."

One Day Teacher Ask Rajesh(The Most Stupid Boy) To Learn The Poem Of Any Type & To Recite It In The Class. When He Goes To His Home And Asks From His Mother To Go And Get The Book I Want To Learn It Mother Says'Tell Ur Teacher That They Do Not Have Books To Give U.(Mother Was Jolking). The He Goes To His Father And Tells The Story About The Poem. Father Replies Sorry Darling We'll Go To Tommorrow. When Teacher Asks Him To Recite The Poem He Replies The Same Words That His Mother Told Him. When Teacer Ask Him To Come To The Principal Rajash Says Sorry Darling We'll Go Tommorrow

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. For every action, there is equal and opposite criticism. He who hesitates is usually right. Never do card tricks with the group you play poker with. No one is listening until you make a mistake. Success is always done in private, and failure in full view. The colder the X-ray table, the more body is required on it. The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach. To steal from one person is plagiarism, to steal from many is research. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. Two wrongs are only the beginning. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. The problem with the gene pool is that there are no life-savers. Monday is the worst way to spend 1/7th of your life. more...

How did the flea learn to use the internet? He had to start from scratch.

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.