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Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

Father: What did you learn in school today? Son: That three and three are seven. Father: Three and three are six! Son: I guess I didnt learn anything today then!

By the time you learn the rules of life, you're too old to play the game.

They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 50 times last year."
The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him."
They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 65 times last year."
The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year.
That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also."
They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times
last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times
last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one."
The man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and inquire if it was 365 times with
the same cow."

A man takes his wife to a livestock show. They enter the tent that houses all the bulls. The sign on the first bulls stall states: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, isn't that nice." They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 70 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 70 times last year, that's almost 6 times a month. You could learn a thing or two from this one!" They carry on to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth gapes open and says, "WOW! he mated 365 times last year, that's ONCE A DAY! You could really learn from this one." The fed up man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and enquire if it was 365 times with the same cow."

Li'l Naturalist Hornet Farm.
The Duncan Yo -- Goes down, never comes back. Teaches children about warranties.
5, 200 Pick Up -- a jumbo deck of cards that lets kids play a larger version of their favorite game.
The "Learn About Puberty Chia Pet".
Supersoaker 9000: For use on those hard to reach targets; NFL referees, low flying planes, and many more. At close range it can strip paint, clean rusty grills, and dig utility trenches.
The Laff-O-Minit Spellin' Tootor.
Doggie Dentist -- Kids learn about dentistry on the family pooch.
Cuisin-Art -- Turns mommy's food processor into a spinning paint tool.
Water Retention Wanda -- Teaches kids the principles of the calendar.
Chocolate Covered Lead Soldiers.
Islamic Strip Poker -- lose a hand, lose a hand.

Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required. 1. Combatting Stupidity2. You Too Can Do Housework3. Resistance to Beer4. How To Properly Fill An Ice Tray5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear For Christmas (Give Us Credit Cards)6. Understanding The Female Response To Coming Home Drunk At 4: 00am7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (also called "Don't Wash My Silks")9. Get A Life - Learn To Cook10. How Not To Act Like An Idiot When You Are Obviously Wrong11. Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence13. You, The Weaker Sex14. Reasons To Give Flowers15. Garbage - Getting It To The Curb16. You Cannot Always Wear Whatever You Please17. How To Put Down A Toilet Seat18. Give Me A Break - Why We Know Your Excuses Are Lies19. How To Go Shopping With Your Mate Without more...