Learn Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why did King Kong join the army? To learn about gorilla warfare.

New College Courses for Men as Prepared by Women
1... Combating Stupidity
2... You, Too, Can Do Housework
3... PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
4... How to Fill an Ice Tray
5... We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money
6... Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4: 00am
7... Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly titled "Don't Wash my Silks")
8... Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception
9... Get a Life: Learn to Cook
10... How Not to Act Like an Asshole When You're Obviously Wrong
11... Spelling: Even You Can Get it Right
12... Understanding Your Financial Incompetence
13... You: The Weaker Sex
14... Reasons to Give Flowers
15. How to Stay Awake After Sex

These two Jewish men are sitting in a wonderful deli frequented almost exclusively by Jews in the Jewish section of town.

They are talking amongst themselves in Yiddish. A Chinese waiter comes up and in fluent impeccable Yiddish asks them if everything is okay, can he get them anything, and so forth.

The Jewish men are dumbfounded. "My God, where did he learn such perfect Yiddish?" they both think. After they pay the bill they ask the manager of the store, an old friend also fluent in Yiddish, "Where did our waiter learn such fabulous Yiddish?"

The owner looks around and leans in so no one else will hear and says, "Shhhh. He thinks we're teaching him English."

I'm not sure how they're gonna make out, but a manufacturer is test marketing a brand new unisex personal hygiene deodorant - it's called "The Pit and the Pendulum".
Even now, so many parents are concerned about sex education in the schools. What they're not considering though is that if the kids learn it the way they learn all the other subjects, they still won't know how to "do it" anyway.
A Howard County Policeman broke-up a young couple in the act of love-making on a pathway in Columbia. The girl berated the officer long and loud with a barrage of obscenities. The boy was silent through-out the confrontation.
The officer arrested them both anyway. The girl was charged with disorderly conduct, the boy with having an offensive person on his weapon.

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time, informal school called life. Each day in this school, you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works."
4. A lesson is repeated until it is learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. Then you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.
6. "There" is no better than "here," When your "there" has become a "here," more...

Where do children learn their ABC's? At LMN-tary school!

Learn Chinese: Ki Ti - an animal used for food