Legal Jokes / Recent Jokes
One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her back yard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew, she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold.
An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned a half hour later with a black eye.
"Did you get hit by the same person?" his captain asked.
"No," he replied. "I stepped on the same rake."
A Chinese description of American court trials: "One man is silent, another talks all the time, and twelve men condemn the man who has not said a word."
A defendant in the lawsuit involving a large sum of money was talking to his lawyer.
"If I lose the case, I'll be ruined," he said.
"It's in the judge's hands now.", said the lawyer.
"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"
"Oh, no," said the lawyer. "This judge is a stickler for ethical behaviour. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn't even smile at the judge."
Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courhouse with his lawyer, he said," Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked."
"I'm sure we would have lost the case if you had sent them."
"But I did send them."
"You did?"
"Yes. That is how we won the more...
Despite what Ralph Nader says, the best safety device is a rearview mirror with a cop in it.
A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then, he discovered the problem -- a 10-year old boy was standing up the road with a hand-painted sign which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD".
The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket full of change.