Lens Jokes

Special 1-hour lenses from Lenscrafters now allow it to see really, REALLY, *REALLY* far.
SBTS (Shapely Buttocks Targeting System) enhances astronomers' lonely evenings.
New Super Big Gulp size cup holder and one of those little pine tree air fresheners.
When pointed toward earth, it can... HEY, YOU!!! IN THE RED SHIRT! STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE!
Bitchin' speaker stacks that blast "We Will Rock You" when orbiting over Iraq.
Special kaleidoscope attachment for when the acid kicks in.
After 3 years and over $50 million of troubleshooting, they finally removed the lens cap.
Warning on lens mirror now reads: "OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE LIGHTYEARS CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR."
Gigantic Louisville Slugger installed to protect earth against asteroids.
"Toy Surprise" built into every new piece, for that day when they plummet to Earth.
By focusing huge magnifying glass, scientists can burn ants with pinpoint accuracy.
Much improved more...