Lesson Jokes / Recent Jokes

Corporate Lesson Number One: A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? ”

The crow answered: “Sure, why not. ” So the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Little Willie had a gambling problem. He'd bet on anything.
One day, Willie's father consulted his teacher.
The teacher said. "Mr.Gaines, I think I know how to teach Willie
a real lesson. We'll trap him into a big wager that he'll lose."
Willie's father agreed to cooperate with the plan.
The next day at school, the teacher watched Willie making wagers
with the other children, and she said, "Willie, I want you
to remain after class." When the others had left the
classroom, Willie walked up to the teacher. Before she could
say a word, he said, "Dont say it, Miss B; I know what you're
going to say, but you're a liar!"
"Willie!" the startled teacher said, "What are you talking about?"
"You're a fake!" Willie continued."How can I believe anything
you tell me? You've got this blond hair on top, but I've seen
your bush and it's pitch black!"
Trying to keep her more...

On the first day his son joined the family firm, the founder took him on to the roof of the factory building and said, I am going to give you your very first lesson in business. Stand on the edge of the roof. Reluctantly, the boy went to stand on the edge of the roof. Now, said his father, when I say, "Jump," I want you to jump off the roof. But, Dad, said the boy, theres a huge drop! Do you want to succeed in business? Yes, Dad. And you trust me, dont you? Yes, Dad. So do as I say and jump. The boy jumped. He crashed to the ground and lay there, winded and bruised. His father went racing down the stairs and ran up to him. That was your first lesson in business, son. Never trust anyone.

A Canadian was observing teaching methods in schools in several African countries.
In one, she found the children doing a science lesson, timing the swing of a pendulum. The lesson had evidently been prepared in the US as the children were counting "Mississippi one, Mississippi two, Mississippi three. .."
After the lesson the Canadian gave a talk and mentioned that if children in her country were doing this experiment, they would probably use a Canadian word like "Saskatchewan" to do the timing.
The next day, the Canadian happened to drop in on the class and found them still timing the pendulum's swing, but today they were counting "Saskatche one, Saskatche two. .."

Little Johnny's mother decided to give her son an anatomy lesson one day, so she took off all of her clothes and pointed to her vagina, and said, "Johnny. This is where you come from." Johnny went to school the next day smiling and insisting all his friends now refer to him as "Lucky Johnny." "Why?" one asked. Johnny held his fingers an inch apart and said, "Because I came this close to being a turd."

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Little Rascals Vocabulary Lesson
The little rascals were in class and the teacher was giving them a vocabulary lesson. The teacher said, "Alfalfa, use the word love in a sentence".
Alfalfa replies, "I love Darla".
The teacher said, "Good... now Spanky your word is respect".
Spanky replies, "I respect the way Alfalfa loves Darla".
The teacher said, "Very good! Now Buckweat its your turn, your word is Dictate".
Buckweat replies, "Hey Darla... how did my dictate last night?".