Liar Jokes / Recent Jokes
Banta and Ram Lal were working on a roof, when Banta slipped and fell to the ground. Ram Lai leaned over and called out:' You dead or alive, Banta?'
'Alive,' moaned Banta.
'You're a liar. I don't know whether to believe you or not,' said Ram Lai.
'Then I must be dead,' said Banta,' because you wouldn't dare call me a liar if I were alive.'
"That wife of mine is a liar," said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar. "How do you know?" the friend asked. "She didn't come home last night, and when I asked her where she'd been, she said she'd spent the night with her sister, Shirley." "So?" the friend replied. "So, she's a liar. I spent the night with her sister Shirley!"
"That wife of mine is a liar," said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar.
"How do you know?" the friend asked.
"She didn't come home last night and when I asked her where she'd been, she said she had spent the night with her sister, Shirley."
"So?"
"So she's a liar. I spent the night with her sister, Shirley."
That wife of mine is a liar," said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar.
"How do you know?" the friend asked.
"She didn't come home last night and when I asked her where she'd been, she said she had spent the night with her sister, Shirley."
"So?"
"She's a liar. / spent the night with her sister, Shirley."
A young loiterer from Wuling was known as a notorious liar. One day he fell in with an old man in the marketplace. "I've heard that you are a great liar," said the old man. "Just show me how good you are at lying. " "Oh, I have no time for that right now," replied the young man. "I've just heard that they have drained the East Lake and everybody has gone there to catch soft-shelled turtles. I'm going there myself to catch some." Believing him, the old man made a beeline for the East Lake. There, what greeted his eyes was the boundless expanse of the waters of the lake. Then he realized that he had been taken in.
Lonely? Looking for your ideal partner? Here are some tips on what to expect.
First the women:
40-ish48
AdventurerHas had more partners than you ever will
AthleticFlat-chested
Average lookingUgly
BeautifulPathological liar
Contagious SmileBring your penicillin
EducatedCollege dropout
Emotionally SecureMedicated
FeministFat; ball buster
Free spiritSubstance user
Friendship firstTrying to live down reputation as slut
FunAnnoying
GentleComatose
Good ListenerBorderline Autistic
New-AgeAll body hair, all the time
Old-fashionedLights out, missionary position only
Open-mindedDesperate
OutgoingLoud
PassionateLoud
PoetDepressive Schizophrenic
ProfessionalReal Witch
RedheadShops the Clairol section
ReubenesqueGrossly Fat
RomanticLooks better by candle light
VoluptuousVery Fat
Weight proportional to heightHugely Fat
Wants SoulmateOne step away from stalking
WidowNagged first more...
ADS FROM WOMEN - What they really mean
40-ish... 48 Adventurer... Has had more partners than you ever will Athletic... Flat-chested Average looking... Ugly Beautiful... Pathological liar Contagious Smile... Bring your penicillin Educated... College dropout Emotionally Secure... Medicated Feminist... Fat; ball buster Free spirit... Substance user Friendship first... Trying to live down reputation as slut Fun... Annoying Gentle... Comatose Good Listener... Borderline Autistic New-Age... All body hair, all the time Old-fashioned... Lights out, missionary position only Open-minded... Desperate Outgoing... Loud Passionate... Loud Poet... Depressive Schzophrenic Professional... Real Witch Redhead... Shops the Clairol section Reubenesque... Grossly Fat Romantic... Looks better by candle light Voluptuous... Very Fat Weight proportional to height... Hugely Fat Wants Soulmate... One step away from stalking Widow... Nagged first husband to death Young at heart... Toothless crone
THE MALE more...