License Jokes / Recent Jokes

A game warden came upon a duck hunter who had bagged 3 ducks and decided to' enforce the laws pending.' He stopped the hunter, flashed his badge and said,' Looks like you've had a pretty good day. Mind if I inspect your kill?'

The hunter shrugged and handed the ducks to the warden. The warden took one of the ducks, inserted his finger into the duck's rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said,' This here's a Washington state duck. Do you have a Washington state hunting license?'

The hunter pulled out his wallet and calmly showed the warden a Washington state hunting license. The warden took a second duck, inserted his finger in the bird's rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said,' This here's an Idaho duck. Do you have an Idaho state hunting license?'

The hunter, a bit put out, produced an Idaho state hunting license. The warden took a third duck, conducted the same finger test, and said,' This here's an Oregon state duck. Do you have an Oregon more...

There was a blonde driving a ferrari. A cop pulls her over forspeeding, the cop asks," can I see your license and registrationplease!"The blonde responds, "license and registration what is that?"The cop respnds," you will find your license in your purse andregistration in your glove compartment."The cop gets the license and registration and goes back to the car, and he calls dispatcher and reports it. The dispatcher replies,"this wouldnt be a blonde in a ferrari would it?" The cop replies,"yes it is." The dispatcher says, "go back to her car and drop yourpants."The cop responds back,"I cant do that!" The dispatcher says, "trustme, just do it!" then the cop replies,"ok whatever you say!"So he walks back to her car, and drops his pants. The blonde turnsaround and says, "oh no, not another breathalizer test!"

@ age 4…………Success is…………Not peeing in your pants @ age 12………. Success is…………Having friends @ age 16………. Success is…………Having a driver’s license @ age 20………. Success is…………Having sex @ age 35………. Success is…………Having money @ age 50………. Success is…………Having money @ age 60………. Success is…………Having sex @ age 70………. Success is…………Having a driver’s license @ age 75………. Success is…………Having friends @ age 80………. Success is…………Not peeing in your pants

John & Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, “I’m very sorry officer, I didn’t realize it was out, I’ll get it fixed right away. ”
Just then Jessica said, “I knew this would happen when I told you two days ago to get that light fixed. ”
So the officer asked for John’s license and after looking at it said, “Sir your license has expired. ”
And again John apologized and mentioned that he didn’t realize that it had expired and would take care of it first thing in the morning.
Jessica said, “I told you a week ago that the state sent you a letter telling you that your license had expired. ”
Well by this time, John is a bit upset with his wife contradicting him in front of the officer, and he said in a rather loud voice, “Jessica, will you shut up! ”
The officer then leaned over toward more...

There was a blonde driving down the center of the road at 100 mph. A police officer pulled her over to the side of the road. When she had stopped, the officer asked, "License and Registration please."
"It's okay, Officer, I have a special license that allows me to do this," she said smiling.
"That's impossible!" The officer replied, "I've never heard of such a license."
The blonde then reached into her purse and handed him her license. Astonished, the Officer said, "Just as I suspected. This is an ordinary license, I see nothing here that would allow you special consideration."
She pointed to the bottom of the license, "See? it says so right here: 'Tear Along The Dotted Line'."

There was a blonde driving down the center of the road at 100 mph. A police officer pulled her over to the side of the road. When she had stopped, the officer asked, "License and Registration please."
"It's okay, Officer, I have a special license that allows me to do this," she said smiling.
"That's impossible!" The officer replied, "I've never heard of such a license."
To which the driver reached into her purse and handed him her license. Astonished, the Officer said, "Just as I suspected. This is an ordinary license, I see nothing here that would allow you special consideration."
She pointed to the bottom of the license and said, "Can you see this? It says so right here: 'Tear Along The Dotted Line'."

Why did the blond cry when she got her drivers license?
She got an F on her sex