Licked Jokes / Recent Jokes

An
autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture
to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed
the class. 'There are two things you need to make a
career in medical forensics. First, you must have no
fear.' Having said that, he shoved his finger up the
corpse's anus and licked it. 'Now you must do the same,'
he told the class.
After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the
class did as instructed.
'Second,' the professor continued, 'you must have
an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many
of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this
man's anus, but licked my index finger?'

One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said,' 'There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything.''
After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same.
After hesitating, they all did it.
' 'Next,'' the professor said,' 'you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger.''

Los Angeles: Toads may not be licked(Dumb Laws - California)

A college professor was starting the new year with a lesson on observation. He walked into his class room holding a clear glass filled with a yellow liquid. He said," This is a glass of urine," all of his students had disgusted looks on their faces."Observe what I do and as I pass the glass around, do what I did." He stuck in his finger, pulled it out and put it in his mouth. All the students looked horrified. But, one by one, they each stuck in their finger and licked it. After everyone was finished, the proffesor said," If you had observed closely, i put in my index finger and licked my middle finger."

These may sound bad but the moral at the end is a good one...
I was scared at first.
It was very wide, and very long,
and it angled straight up.
I decided I had to try it once.
I slowly and carefully eased myself onto it.
It felt weird at first.
Then I got used to it.
I went up and down, and up and down on it.
I was really loving it.
Now I ride on escalators all the time.
I took my fingers and slowly,
and gently stretched it apart.
It was so pure and white.
I licked it once, twice... I found I couldn't stop.
I licked it faster and faster, and harder.
I began to scrape my teeth against it.
There it was, in my mouth!
All sweet and creamy.
I was done.
And I threw away the outsides of my Oreo cookies.
I squeezed it gently at first,
then a little bit harder.
There seemed to be more and more of it
I moved it towards my lips.
It was a strange and new sensation for me.
I put it in my more...