Lie Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why We Appreciate Men And How Our Bubbles Get Burst When He Ain't Prince Charming!! (and added comments)1. They've got that comfortable place on their shoulder that's perfect for snuggling into while we fall asleep. (At least that's what his girlfriend/wife says - depending on which YOU are!)2. They're at peace with their bodies, except for maybe some minor anxiety over height, weight, and baldness. (The *names deleted* of the world.. . teehee!!)3. They're enthusiastic about our bodies, even when we're not. (Yeh, don'tcha love it when they say you look great.. . just don't get over 200 lbs!!)4. They're beyond enthusiastic about sex. (OK if they are discriminate.. . about who they are having it with!!)5. They fall in love so hard, once they finally fall. (And don't be shocked if it is their wife.. . " you helped me through a hard time in our marriage and now it's better than ever" OR.. . " yes, I confess, I DID have a fling (you!!), but let's not let that interfere with more...
1. Don't call, ever. 2. Name your penis. Be sure it is something narcissistic and unoriginal, like "Spike." 3. Play with yourself. Talk about it. 4. You are a man. Remember, no matter what, it isn't your fault. 5. Lie. 6. Never ask for help. Even if you really need it, don't ask. People will think you have no penis. 7. Women like it when you ignore them. It arouses them. 8. If, God forbid, you have to talk to a girl on the phone, use only monosyllabic words and noises. Bodily noises are permissible. 9. Lie. 10. Everyone finds a man more attractive if he can write his name in urine. 11. Say things like "Wha.. . ? " 12. Deny everything. Everything. 13. Don't have a clue. 14. If you don't get sex whenever you want, your balls will shrivel. Enforce this rule at all times. 15. Tell this to your girl before you have sex, "Don't worry. If you don't have an orgasm, you won't get pregnant." 16. Life is one big competition. If someone is better than you at more...
He is the person, who has very thin body.
When he was drunken he explained us lot of very interesting lies,
when he was in sri-lanka.
Now we are going to tell you couple of lies, which he has tallen us,
The interesting thing is the VAWLA think that
he is telling true every time,
But all peaple knows all thous are VAWLA'S stories.
The first lie VAWLA told us is, One day he going for a walk with his friend's.
On his way he saw a VAWLA(bat) hanging on the electricity cable.
After that he took some stones and threw to the VAWLA,
then VAWLA fall down. He took the VAWLA and went home, cookd nicly
and had a good party. After that he named the party' VAWL-PARTY'.
He told us that the tastest meet he had is the VAWL-meet.
In our place only the beggars are having the VAWLA meet.
After this lie story we are calling him' VAWLA'
Four year's ago he has gone to katharagama with his companious.
On the way he wanted to go more...
RABRI DEVI DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN (DON'T LAUGH). AS SHE STOOD IN FRONT OF YAMRAJ, SHE SAW A HUGE WALL OF CLOCK BEHIND.
SHE ASKED, WHAT ARE ALL THOSE CLOCKS?
YAMRAJ ANSWERED, THOSE ARE LIE CLOCKS. EVERYONE ON EARTH HAS A LIECLOCK. EVERY TIME YOU LIE, THE HANDS ON YOUR CLOCK WILL MOVE.
OH, SAID RABRI, WHO'S CLOCK IS THAT?
THAT'S GOUTAM BUDDHA'S. THE HANDS HAVE NEVER MOVED INDICATING THAT HE NEVER TOLD A LIE.
AND WHOSE CLOCK IS THAT?
THAT'S ABRAHAM LINCON'S CLOCK. THE HANDS HAVE ONLY MOVED TWICE, TELLING US THAT ABRAHAM ONLY TOLD TWO LIES IN HIS INTIRE LIFE.
RABRI ASKED, WHERE'S MY LALOO'S CLOCK?
LALOO'S CLOCK IS IN MY OFFICE, REPLIED YAMRAJ, I AM USING IT AS A CEILING FAN.
A SRI LANKAN MOTHER comes to visit her son Sunil who lives
with a female roommate naming Sunita, for dinner. During the course of the meal, his mother could not help but notice how pretty Sunil's, roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Sunil and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Sunil volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Sunita came to Sunil saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver chutney jar.
You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he
sat down and wrote:
Dear Mom,
I'm not saying that you' did' take the more...
1. MILKING IT: When stroking a guy's dick don't grab it like a bus rail and start jerking it like you were milking a cow. Don't use the penis as if it's a piece of gym equipment to strengthen the forearms. The male organ is a thing of wonder and beauty, and should be worshipped and held tenderly at all times. The sensitive part is at the top (where your face should be), not two-thirds of the way down.
2. BEING NAKED: Very few female bodies are good to look it so please make an effort to cover up as much as possible with exotic lingerie. Match the outfit to suit your bod. If you've got a half-decent arse but no tits for example, wear stockings and suspenders and cover your meagre mammaries with something silky.
3. POOR PRESENTATION: Presentation is all important. Don't wait to be asked to get it doggy-style. Roll over and present. You know you love it!
4. SILENT FRIGHT: If you've come and cannot be arsed to scream to show your appreciation, at least more...