Lifts Jokes / Recent Jokes

a little boy and girl were playing one day when the little boy opens his pants and says, bet you dont have one of these! The little girl lifts her skirt, looks down, begins to cry then runs home to her mother.The next day, the little girl approaches the boy, lifts her skirt and with a big grin states:My mommy told me with one of these i can get all of those i want!

A man and his wife are on vacation in Tibet. While shopping in a small village, the wife asks her husband what time it was, and looking down at his wrist the man realized he had left his watch in the motel room. After a few unsuccessful attempts to find an english speaking local, the couple finally finds an elderly man sitting quietly on the street with his donkey.
"Excuse me," the husband says, "could you tell us the time?"
"Absolutely", replies the elderly man, and with that he reaches down and lifts the donkey's balls. "It is 3:10", the man exclaims.
"Thank you" replies the wife in a surprised voice. And the couple continues on their way. After doing some shopping and grabbing a bite to eat. The couple return to the old man for the time.
Again the elderly man lifts the donkey's balls and says, "It is now 4:45."
By this time the husband is completely amazed. "Please show me how you can tell the time more...

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A tourist is walking down an alley in Mexico. Wanting to know
the time, he walks up to a mexican who is sitting on the ground
next to a donkey. "Do you know what time it is." asks the
tourist.

The mexican raises his arm, lifts up the donkeys' balls
and says, "It's about two thirty".

A little confused, The man
continues on his way. A little while later the tourist returns,
with the same question.

The mexican again raises his arm, lifts up the donkeys' balls and says "It's about five twenty".

Astonished, the tourist can't help but ask how he did it.

Themexican again raises his arm, lifts up the donkeys' balls and
points, "Do you see that clock over there....?".

A guy decides he wants to learn how to hunt. Needing a good hunting dog, he visits a farmer who has been advertising hounds in the newspaper. The farmer shows him several dogs, but the guy doesn't like them. Then he spots one hound that the farmer hasn't shown him. The guys asks, "What about that one?" "Oh, no," the farmer replies. "That one's my special dog." "What's so special about him?" "Let me show you."

The farmer leads the guy and the dog to a field, lifts up one of the dog's ears, and orders, "Go find the birds!" The dog charges to a nearby bush, points and barks once. "That means there's one bird in that bush," says the farmer. "No way!" exclaims the guy. The farmer takes a stick and pokes the bush, and a huge pheasant flies out.

To further convince the guy, the farmer again lifts the dog's ear and repeats, "Go find the birds!" This time the dog streaks off to more...