Light Bulb Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Six. One to screw in the lightbulb and five to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience.
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Nine. One to change the bulb, and eight to protest about the nuclear power plant that generates the electricity that powers it.
Q: How many school teachers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.
Q: How many Goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They prefer everything all black anyway.
Q: How many Evangelists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 33. One to do it, 2 to bask in its glory, and 30 to take collections in the bulb's name.
Q: How many sorority sisters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the bulb, and four to make T-shirts. And optionally, we may more...
Q: How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 250, 000, 000, one to change it and 249, 999, 999 to debate whether it it was politically correct.
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but the lightbulb must want to change.
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: How long have you been having this phantasy?
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: How many do *you* think it takes?
Q: How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It depends on what you want them to change it into.
Q: How many egotists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. He holds onto the lightbulb, and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Q: How many roadies does it take to more...
Q: How many people at a London Vegans meeting does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: All thirty. Well, actually it's only one, but he has to wait at least half an hour while the others read out all the announcements.
Q: How many macrobiotics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to make the coffee, one to get the cigarettes, and one to ask Michio Kushi for instructions.
Q: How many old macrobiotics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five. One to change it, three to hold the ladder, and one to call the ambulance.
Q: How many young macrobiotics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They all sit in a circle, watching the old macrobiotics, and think beautiful thoughts.
Q: How many holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just deny the bulb ever went out in the first place.
Q: How many Ethiopians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to more...
Q: How many university students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 31. Ten to vote on whether the light bulb needs changing, whether they should join the Lightbulbs Union first and then what to call the new lightbulb - (the Nelson Mandela lightbulb? ), one to put it in... and twenty to have a pissup after to celebrate a good days work...
Q: How many boarding school students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they have their parents do it for them.
Q: How many off-campus landlords does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. The students will just wreck it, anyhow, so why bother?
Q: How many Chinese students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Twelve: one to screw in the lightbulb, one to sit in the jail, and ten to demonstrate on the streets.
Q: How many engineering students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the rest of the class copies the report.
Q: How many first more...
Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? A: (Sigh) Don't bother, I'll sit in the dark, I don't want to be a nuisance to anybody.
Q: How many post-doctoral fellows does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but it'll probably take three or four tries to get it right because he/she will probably give it to the technician to do.
Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It all depends on the size of the grant.
Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two and a professor to take credit.
Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 1/100. A graduate student needs to change 100 lightbulbs a day.
Q: Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen in on the guest list.
Q: Do you know how many musicians it takes more...
Q: How many tenors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three - One to do it and two to stand there and tell each other how they could have done it better.
Q: How many female opera singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. If they sing loudly enough they'll break it.
Q: How many classical music singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None - "Impossible. The altitude may put unnecessary strain on my vocal chords. Have the bassist do it."
Q: How many conductors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven. (Indignant nose upturned.) Of course, I wouldn't expect you to understand.
Q: How many country & western singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love she is with the new one, and one to go "Yeeeee-Hah! " and throw his hat in the more...