Light Bulb Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A: "What's a lightbulb?"

Q: How many tourists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Six. One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions.

Q: How many rednecks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, it only takes one person to use a hammer.

Q: How many rednecks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three, one to change the bulb, one to take care of the sheep, and one to observe and try to think why he isn't tending to the sheep's needs.

Q: How many rednecks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to drive their home to the hardware store and one to buy the bulb and screw it in.

Q: How many Norwegians does is take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to screw in the bulb and one to tell a long story about it...

Q: How many public opinion researchers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: With what degree of certainty do you need to know?

Q: How many Greenpeace researchers does it take to more...

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?A: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

Q: How many trainspotters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to change it, one to write its serial number down, and one to bring the anoraks and the flask of soup.

Q: How many [cricket] Test Match Special commentators does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to change it, one to eat the lovely chocolate cake sent in by the Bournemouth Womens Institute, one to say "Now when was the last time we had to change a light bulb on-air - wasn't it 1989 at Lords? " and one to comment on the lovely red bus going down the Oxford Road.

Q: How many Blue Peter presenters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and one to turn the old one into an attractive Christmas tree decoration.

Q: What if you have *two* dead bulbs?
A: They replace your fuse box.

Q: How many system administrators does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they just deny everyone access to the area served more...

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"

Q: How many unix programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but if you forget to tell him "2]" he'll mash both the live and dead bulbs into the same socket at once.

Q: How many Unix Support staff does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Read the man page!

Q: How many software vendors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: You have to do it yourself, pay them $99 for the privilege, and re-wire your sockets to suit the new bulb.

Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's proprietary information. Answer available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).

Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.

Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light more...

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Six, Five to look at the problem and go "Duh?" and one to call her boyfriend to do it.