Light Bulb Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: "We'll document it in the manual."
Q: How many C programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they forgot to declare it first.
Q: How long does it take a C programmer to screw in a light bulb?
A: 24 hours--3 minutes to put in the bulb, the rest of the time to compile all the libraries...
Q: How many FORTRAN programs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 1. 00000000001
Q: How many BASIC programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10 push bulb upwards: twist bulb clockwise 20 goto 10
Q: How many games machine programmers does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
A: One, but he needs the seal of approval from Nintendo before he can put his light-bulb in THEIR socket.
Q: How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: False.
Q: How many neural nets does more...
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?A: 10, One to change the bulb and the other nine to make T-shirts.
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many?
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It depends: If they are applications programmers, it takes exactly twice as many as are currently available. If they are host programmers, it takes one for each variant of Unix and/or MicroSoft Windows. If they are core programmers, it only takes one. He just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to analyze the historical failure rates of lightbulbs using PROC LIFEREG, so as to anticipate the failure of the lightbulb before the user actually has to report it, one to explain why SAS is better for changing lightbulbs than S-Plus, SPSS/X, BMDP, SYSTAT, MINITAB or a spreadsheet, one to write a custom interface in AF/SCL allowing the user to manually request the changing of the light bulb after its more...
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: This can not be computed. Changing light bulbs is a *hardware* problem...
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change the light bulb and one to make sure the stack of manuals doesn't tip over.
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, once the documentation for the procedure is found in one of the 15 manuals on the shelf.
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Well, it depends upon the platform on which one stands!
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Actually none, if you are willing to close your eyes to the (validity of the) output.
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It can't be done yet. "Light bulb" is more than 8 characters long.
Note: SAS is a more...
Q: How many tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: "The user can work it out."
Q: How many tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, provided there's a programmer around to explain how to do it.
Q: How many tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: It should be obvious to an intelligent user.
Q: How many Technical Support staff does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: "Well, we have an exact copy of your light bulb here and it seems to be working OK. Can you be more specific about the exact problem? ..."
Q: How many Technical Support staff does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I'm sorry, we don't support that kind of lighting technology.
Q: How many WordPerfect support technicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of more...
Q: How many experienced computer users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Why do they have to keep changing it? Every bloody week. You'd've thought they'd have learnt by now, if it's not broken they shouldn't bugger about with it. What's that? It WAS broken this time you say? *Blush*
Q: How many PC users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to do it, but one to check the new bulb for viruses first.
Q: How many municipal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Seven - two to administer the Civil Service examination for the Light Bulb Administrator position, the Commissioner of Public Works, who ends up hiring his brother for the position anyway, one to plow the mayor's driveway, a Summer Youth student to actually screw it in, and a Union steward to protest that its the electrician's job to screw in lightbulbs.
Q: How many fat-cat factory owners does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The replacement more...
Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We don't know. They never get past the feasibility study.
Q: How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle... and one to change the bulb.
Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 24 1/8, but that's down 3/8 from yesterday.
Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
Q: How many Paul Daniels does it take to change a more...